Combining Shadow Work and Inner Children Exploration
By: Dr. Denise Renye
As I mentioned in a previous post, the term “shadow” in the psychological sense comes from psychologist Carl Jung who said people have different parts of themselves or aspects of their psyche. The shadow is what you don’t want to see the “light of day.” It’s the traits you’d rather keep hidden away. It’s perhaps what you feel ashamed about or embarrassed by.
Reasons to engage with shadow work, whether that’s with a therapist, with a coach who is properly trained, or on your own, are that you may feel more alive, integrated, authentic, and whole. You may increase your feelings of self-esteem and self-confidence because you recognize what you’re capable of and what you’re not. You may also develop more compassion and acceptance for yourself and others because as you make space for the vulnerable, tender parts within, you’re able to do so for others as well.
Ways to access the shadow are by exploring where you are in the greatest pain, where or when you feel deep shame, and if you have low self-worth in a particular area or in general. The more you bring this part of the psyche out of your unconscious awareness and into the light of consciousness, the less you'll judge others (and yourself).
Judgment goes well beyond the physical. It's also judgment about words, behaviors, and beliefs regarding yourself and others. It's internal commentary such as, "I can't believe I said that. I should have kept my mouth shut." "Why did I make that decision? It was so stupid." By engaging with shadow work, you move beyond the binary and recognize that life and people (yourself included) are complicated. You learn you can be both right and wrong, good and bad, smart and dumb, and whatever other category your psyche tries to sort you into. As Walt Whitman reminds us, we contain multitudes.
There are numerous entry points for shadow work, but one place I recommend is with the inner children. Childhood is a powerful time when so much magic is alive and while introjections occur in childhood, familial, cultural, religious, and social conditioning is not as solidified into the self. As time goes on, the conditioning solidifies and repetition of the introjection occurs. Also, it’s common for there to be a lack of positive role models and support. There’s still often questioning by children and thus opportunity for growth and change in childhood and these child parts.
For the following exercise, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Imagine yourself as a child. Get in touch with this part. See your little one clearly in your mind and then read the following statements; see if any of them resonate with you. They are designed to bring up feelings and thoughts.
Pay close attention to your body sensations as you read them. What might be welling up inside? Also, be aware of what you might not be feeling. Sometimes our inner experience is one of numbness. The psyche is designed to protect us and a form of protection is dissociation, which is detaching and a numbing of the bodymind so that the self can stay intact and you can continue moving on and living your daily life.
With that said, here are the statements:
“Children are in the way.”
“Children should be seen and not heard.”
“Children are easily manipulated.”
Again, what comes up for you as you read those? Take a few moments and journal about any thoughts, feelings, memories, or sensations. Remember to breathe and be gentle with yourself. This type of inner work is something to discuss with your therapist as it can be transformative but without the right support, it may be exposing or too vulnerable.
Resource
Robert Johnson's Owning Your Own Shadow
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