How to Recover from Travel and Time with Family
By: Dr. Denise Renye
“If you think you are enlightened, go and spend a week with your family.” -- Ram Dass
Holiday travel is back in full swing. Many people visiting their families of origin, extended and immediate, and that’s not always easy. There’s stress associated with the holidays for some with complex dynamics, heightened expectations, and memories that may evoke both joy and distress. Maybe your parents are not very attuned and struggle to be present and connected with you. Or maybe there’s dysfunction or addiction present. Whatever the situation is, remember that holiday visits are temporary and you are resilient and can integrate your experience.
close-up of a delicate snowflake, highlighting its unique and intricate design, symbolizing the beauty and individuality of each holiday experience, despite potential challenges and complexities in family dynamics.
There are things you can do while you’re traveling, which I’ve already written about, and there are also things you can do once you return home. If visiting family is difficult for you, be gentle with yourself when you resume your normal life. Integration takes time. You don’t have to opt-in to the “New Year, New You” energy. You don’t have to start 2024 with a bang or hit the ground running or do any of the things we’re encouraged to do at the start of the year. There’s a lot of hype about New Year’s Eve and you simply do not have to be a part of it if you aren’t feeling it.
And if you live in the northern hemisphere, keep in mind it’s still winter. There’s wisdom in honoring winter energy. As Katherine May reminds us:
“Plants and animals don’t fight the winter; they don’t pretend it’s not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through. Winter is a time of withdrawing from the world, maximizing scant resources, carrying out acts of brutal efficiency and vanishing from sight; but that’s where the transformation occurs.”
It's OK for you to “vanish from sight” when you return home from visiting family. You can do the bare minimum because now is the time to nourish yourself. Travel is a stressful event. It’s hard for the body and psyche, especially if you are traveling from one time zone to another, not to mention “traveling back in time” and potentially having a first-person experience from your inner child(ren)’s perspective(s). In times of stress, one solution is to slow down, not speed up. I encourage the people I work with to slow down through conscious breathing. It’s not uncommon for the breath to become shallow, quick, and in the chest (rather than in the belly) during times of stress. Come back into your body by taking deep, slow, belly breaths.
Another deeply nourishing practice is yoga nidra, which is yogic “sleep” that’s been proven to help with issues like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), addiction, insomnia, anxiety, and more. It’s a practice that can be easily done in 20 minutes (or more if you have the time) and it just requires you to lie in a comfortable position and listen to an audio recording. I have a yoga nidra meditation in my shoppe that you may find helpful.
It’s also helpful to spend time in nature. Notice the sights, sounds, and smells. Is everything still? Are birds chirping? Is anything in bloom? Immerse yourself in the environment and allow yourself to be present. If you can’t physically be in nature, use a houseplant, a picture of nature (hardcopy or finding an image online), or even a vivid imagination where you simply notice the color(s) and imagine the fragrance(s) while you bring awareness to your body and mind.
You may also find that you need to integrate, or in other words, process, what happened to you over the holidays. Try freewriting, or writing whatever comes to mind without criticism or judgment for a specified time. You’re not worried about spelling or grammar. You’re not worried about how things sound. It is not about image, or how it looks from the outside. Freewriting is an experience, and how it feels from the inside. You’re just simply writing. You’re giving yourself an outlet to be expressive. You’re getting to know your inner workings and you’re engaging with these inner workings through a dynamic experience that connects the mind and body.
If you want a little more structure, I have some journal prompts below. Going through this process of recovering from your holiday travels and time spent with family, remember that transitions can be challenging and it makes sense you’d need a little time and space to work through whatever happened. You don’t have to “soldier on” or “suck it up.” Be with yourself and give yourself what you need, whatever that may be.
Journal prompts
Reflect on a specific moment or interaction during the holiday travels or time spent with family that left an impact on you, whether positive or negative. Explore your emotions, thoughts, and any insights gained from that experience.
Identify one self-care practice or activity that brings you comfort and helps you recharge. Write about how incorporating this into your post-holiday routine can provide the necessary time and space for reflection and recovery.
Consider setting realistic expectations for yourself in the aftermath of holiday experiences. Describe a few achievable goals or intentions for the upcoming days or weeks, keeping in mind the importance of self-compassion and allowing yourself the grace to navigate transitions at your own pace.
What were some pleasant aspects of time with family and friends? What did you learn?
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