What is Polyandry?

By: Dr. Denise Renye

Throughout history, we’ve seen numerous portrayals of polygyny – a man in partnership with more than one woman. In a famous example, Joseph Smith, Jr., the founder of Mormonism, had 33 wives. More recently, polygynous Mormons are portrayed in TLC’s reality show “Sister Wives,” National Geographic’s “Polygamy, USA,” and in various documentaries. While the TV shows focus on a certain Christian sect, that doesn’t mean polygyny is limited to Christianity. It can also be found in Indigenous tribes and within some Muslim cultures. It would require far more space than the length of a blog to discuss the intricacies and complexities as to whether or not these are consensual arrangements.

There’s so much attention on men with multiple partners, but what about the reverse? What about a woman in a consensual relationship with multiple men? Though not as common as polygyny, this practice, polyandry, had a historical presence in India and Nepal. In modern times, both forms of polygamy (polygyny and polyandry) are demonstrated in polyamory communities. And yes, polyamorous communities are more open to different configurations, but the amount of “space” in the relationship is still something to be determined by the parties involved.

What I mean by space is the boundary setup. I often use the metaphor of a house to describe a relationship. Houses have several doors and windows. Each couple gets to decide how open and closed the windows and doors are for each person to feel safe in the relationship. A “house” with closed windows and doors would be a very strict monogamous relationship. A “house” with open windows and doors would be a very free relationship – everyone involved could pursue relationships with other people, with discussed agreements.

In stricter polyandrous setups, the woman has multiple partners but requests the men are devoted to her and demonstrate that by only being in a relationship with her exclusively. Some polyandrous relationships may also contain elements of goddess worship. One couple I worked with worshipped the Hindu goddess of wealth and fortune, Lakshmi. They worshipped Lakshmi ritually but also symbolically via the flesh-and-blood woman. The abundance aspect was enacted via the multiple male lovers.

An avenue to enter into a polyandrous relationship is through polyamorous and kink communities, where non-monogamous relationships are already the norm. It can be much harder to find men willing to participate in a polyandrous relationship using traditional dating apps, for instance. If this is something you are interested in exploring, consider being open and honest about it. There is risk in voicing what you desire and the risk may be worth it to live the life you’d like to live.

Creating relationships that are unique and what work for you and your partner(s) is not only ideal but necessary. Not following the norm of a traditional setup can feel intense, especially if you don’t have a community around you that is understanding and open-minded. But if you forge your own path with honest and open communication, the individual that you are can shine forth. And attracting other individuals with similar, matched intentions can occur more easily. 

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References

Conradt, Stacy. “7 Famous Polygamists (and their many, many wives).” Mental Floss. May 1, 2008. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/18542/7-famous-polygamists-and-their-many-many-wives

UKEssays. "Cultures that Practice Polygamy." Ukessays.com. November 2018. https://www.ukessays.com/essays/cultural-studies/cultures-that-practice-polygamy.php?vref=1