Celebrating National Masturbation Day
By: Dr. Denise Renye
May 28 is National Masturbation Day, a day that was created to protect and celebrate the right to enjoy your own body according to your own needs, desires, and wants. It all started in 1995 when President Bill Clinton fired U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders for saying at the 1994 United Nations World AIDS Day Conference that masturbation “is something that is a part of human sexuality and … something that perhaps should be taught” in sex-ed classes.
Her statements came in response to a question about what she thought were the “prospects of a more explicit discussion and promotion of masturbation.” She was forced to resign after her statements which is some puritanical, misogynist, racist BS because Elders was the first Black person and second woman to serve as surgeon general. Would the public and President Clinton have been so harsh if Elders was a man or white? We’ll never know but I have my suspicions.
It's also incredibly ironic that the man who was (and is) in a monogamous marriage as far as every knows was caught getting a blowjob from an intern in the White House essentially fired someone for making innocent comments about pleasure with their own body. It shows deep hypocrisy given that Clinton didn’t have sexual integrity in his actions. There was a power differential between him and Monica Lewinsky, he wasn’t in an ethically non-monogamous marriage, and he displayed signs of misogyny in his treatment of sexual partners.
Elders is to be revered as the rebel of self-love and while it’s unfair what happened to her, the forced resignation (and Clinton’s sexual behavior) expanded the idea of sex on an international stage and resulted in the creation of National Masturbation Day, which is a good thing.
How it occurred is a group of Bay Area activists at the sex retailer Good Vibrations brainstormed ways to show support for Elders and decided that May should be celebrated as National Masturbation Month and May 28 be National Masturbation Day.
Author, pleasure activist, collegue and sex educator Carol Queen, PhD, told Teen Vogue, “I was in the room when we invented masturbation month. We didn't think we were going to get Joycelyn Elders reinstated, but we knew people had to talk more frankly about masturbation and sexuality in general. We wanted to prevent things like that from happening in the future because, honestly, she said such a simple and sensible thing.”
She absolutely did and in a previous interview Elders clarified that we should teach kids that masturbation is natural and that we all do it. That’s true and furthermore, there’s no shame in masturbating, as I wrote about for Good Therapy. There’s nothing wrong with masturbating and instead, a lot that’s right. It can improve self-esteem, knowledge of your own body, result in more self-love, and doesn’t have any of the risks associated with partnered sex.
Yet similar to partnered sex, there are different kinds of masturbation. Sometimes you may prefer a quickie. Other times you may want something slow and sensual. In addition to the time element, there’s rougher masturbation, gentler masturbation. There’s playing with edging, which means stopping stimulation before orgasming, waiting about 30 seconds, and then stimulating yourself again, waiting, stimulating, etc. until you’re ready to orgasm. This can result in a deeper and more intense orgasm.
Masturbation can also involve the anus. Mainstream and uneducated people who are often scared of the depths of pleasure still say things like any enjoyment through the anus, or “butt stuff” is synonymous with gay. However, anal pleasure isn’t limited to people who are gay because this areahas lots of nerve endings that are pleasurable for all humans, regardless of their sexual orientation.
The possibilities when it comes to masturbating are practically endless! On May 28, why not celebrate National Masturbation Day and have sex with someone you love: yourself?
Journal prompts
· What is my relationship to masturbation?
· Have I masturbated recently? Why or why not?
· What were the messages I received growing up regarding masturbation, self love, and pleasure?
To set up an appointment with me (Marin County Sex Therapist), click here.
References
Camacho, Natalie Arroyo. “National Masturbation Month: A Surgeon General’s Firing Inspired the Celebration.” Teen Vogue. May 25, 2023. https://www.teenvogue.com/story/national-masturbation-month-history
UN Audiovisual Library. “World AIDS Day 1994 – Part 1.” December 1, 1994. https://www.unmultimedia.org/avlibrary/asset/2550/2550635/