Reconciling When People Do Things that are ‘Out of Character’

By: Dr. Denise Renye

Lately, the news is rife with celebrities accused (and convicted) of doing things that seem “out of character” for them. We have That 70s Show actor Danny Masterson sentenced to 30 years to life in prison for raping two women in the early 2000s. And there’s Russell Brand who is being accused of sexual assault and rape between the years of 2006 and 2013. Four women have come forward to make the claims and most recently, another woman said he exposed himself to her and then went on the radio and joked about it.

It is fairly common knowledge that sexual misconduct is something that one reviews in their own life when they’ve come to terms with their own addiction(s) and gone through a recovery program, as Brand has publicly reported to. However, it does not excuse this behavior in any way whatsoever.

Stories are circulating about how those close to these celebrities are “shocked” by the news. In the case of Masterson, fellow co-stars Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis wrote a letter of support to the Los Angeles County judge ahead of time to ask for leniency. They said Masterson was a "role model" and "an extraordinarily honest and intentional human being" who "set an extraordinary standard around how you treat other people." They also wrote that they trust Masterson to be alone with their children.

The letter received significant backlash, so much so that Kutcher and Kunis posted a video to social media in which they said they did not mean to discount the trauma and experiences of Masterson's victims. "The letters were not written to question the legitimacy of the judicial system or the validity of the jury's ruling," Kunis said. "We support victims."

In the wake of the public outcry, Kutcher resigned from his position as board chair of an anti-child trafficking group that he co-founded called Thorn. Kutcher and Kunis are just people like everyone else and they demonstrate how when a friend or family member is accused of something, or even convicted of something, there’s a high level of denial. “How could they?? Not THEM! They wouldn’t do that. I don’t believe it. I won’t believe it.”

It can be hard to reconcile the image you have of a person with who they really are. We all do this and psychologists have a term for it: cognitive bias. There’s a lot of information coming at us all the time and the brain likes to make shortcuts. A bias helps us make sense of the world and reach decisions with relative speed. However, it also means we can discard information that doesn’t prop up our view of reality or a person, which is known as confirmation bias.

Because of their interactions with Masterson where he showed himself to be a professional with good intentions and an honest person, that’s the only way Kutcher and Kunis could perceive him. Any evidence to the contrary was thrown out. Similarly, because Brand is funny, in recovery, and discusses spirituality, some of his fans are saying, “No! Not him! He couldn’t!” The idea that Brand could be a rapist and exhibitionist doesn’t fit with their perception of him so due to confirmation bias, they’ll say, “The women are lying,” or “It’s all a conspiracy from the media to punish him for telling the truth about how the world works.” This is a pretty classic response considering we are deeply steeped in a patriarchal society. Patriarchy encourages us to defend men and denigrate women.

It's hard to go against confirmation bias and may feel scary, even, but it’s necessary because as we see over and over again, people are complex. Masterson may be a good actor but he’s also a rapist. Brand may have some interesting messages and wisdom to share while also being sexually inappropriate. No person is wholly “good” or wholly “bad” and the more we recognize it, the less shocked we’ll be when people do things that are seemingly out of character. When you more deeply understand the complexities of people (and life) you are more psychologically mature. And when there is an increased maturity, there can be an increased sense of agency in your life. 

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References

Iqbal, Nomia. “Woman says Russell Brand exposed himself to her then laughed about it on Radio 2 show.” BBC.com. Sept. 21, 2023. https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-66882644

Morris, Regan; Matza, Max. “Danny Masterson sentenced to 30 years to life for two rapes.” BBC.com. Sept. 7, 2023. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-66744480

Unknown. “Ashton Kutcher resigns from anti-child trafficking nonprofit over Danny Masterson character letter.” CBSNews.com. September 15, 2023. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ashton-kutcher-resigns-anti-child-trafficking-nonprofit-danny-masterson-character-letter-mila-kunis/