Our Sexual Energies, Ourselves

By: Dr. Denise Renye

As a certified sexologist and sex therapist, I’m tuned in to the many misconceptions people have about sex. One of those misconceptions is that sexual energy means sex itself. It can mean that! And sometimes it commonly does.  But it doesn’t have to be. I want to invite you to think more broadly about this.

Sexual energy is the spark of life. It lives in all of us and it is the energy that created a lot of us so we can have embodied experiences on this earth. However, sexual energy is creative energy. We often are taught and think of sexual energy as the way in which we reproduce. However, when there is a simplification of anything, nuances and richness is often missed.

Whenever people are involved in the act of creation – a project, an art piece, and yes, a baby – they are in touch with sexual energy.

That may be a new perspective for folx because instead so much focus is placed on sex itself. Additionally, oftentimes in cultures like ours, people are taught to cut off their sexual energies or save it for certain circumstances. For instance, marriage between a man and a woman. For some people, sexual energy is only allowed to be expressed narrowly. Or perhaps not all. For some, sex is considered bad, wrong, or perhaps dangerous. I obviously disagree. For me, the question continues to be how can sexual energy be expressed in a healthy and satisfying way?

What would it be like if you owned your sexual energy? If you understood it was life-sustaining? And furthermore, that it only belonged to you? Your sexual energy, while you may choose to share it outwardly with your partner, is yours. It is not your lover’s to own. In fact, it is not something that can be owned. It is something that can be expressed. And it is something that can be unleashed and followed.

It may desire creating a new piece of art. It may invite you to follow it as it creates a new home or a new friendship. Sexual energy needs to be understood as something much, much greater than body part with other body part. It is an energy that can be surrendered to and followed. It is the flow of life.

Yes, our dynamics with others influence sexual energy for sure, but from my perspective it’s yours to unleash, play with, feel, and be. Sexual energy doesn’t live with a partner or lover. It lives within the depths of your being, there to support creation, pleasure, and joy.

A mantra for you to try: Body, how do you want to create today?

 Reach out if you want to explore working on this more in depth.

For ideas and ways to stay connected to and learn more about the unconscious through the body, feel free to stay connected. To set up an appointment with me (Marin County Sexologist), click here.