A Bay Area Sex Therapist’s Guide to Understanding Foot Fetishes
By: Dr. Denise Renye
As a Bay Area sex therapist and psychologist with a sex-positive approach, I have seen firsthand the diversity and complexity of human sexuality. One area that often piques curiosity and sometimes even raises concern among my clients is having a foot fetish. To be clear, there’s nothing wrong or abnormal with a foot fetish. Instead of viewing sexual practices and preferences from a right/wrong binary, I help people understand and embrace their preferences without judgment or pathologizing.
To back up, a foot fetish is a sexual attraction to feet. It can manifest in various ways from an interest in the appearance and feel of feet to an arousal from specific activities involving feet, such as foot worship or foot jobs. Foot fetishism is one of the most common fetishes, yet it remains misunderstood and stigmatized.
In a sex-positive framework, which I practice as a Bay Area sex therapist and psychologist, consensual adult sexual expressions are valid and worthy of respect. This means I view foot fetishes not as a disorder or abnormality but as a natural variation of human sexuality. The sex-positive approach is grounded in the belief that sexual diversity is a normal and healthy part of life. It challenges the notion that only certain types of sexual expressions are acceptable and encourages people to explore and express their sexuality in ways that feel authentic and fulfilling to them.
Again, liking what you like is fine, normal, and healthy as long as it’s consensual and involves conscious and enthusiastically involved adults. I don’t pathologize any sexual preference or practice so in the case of foot fetishism, it’s not a mental illness or deviance. When working with clients who have a foot fetish, my goal is to provide a safe and supportive space where they can discuss their desires without fear of judgment. This involves normalizing their experiences and helping them understand that their fetish is a legitimate part of their sexual identity.
In sex therapy, we could explore the origins and meanings of a client's fetish. This exploration is helpful for some people (but not for others). It could be that a foot fetish developed from early childhood experiences, cultural influences, or personal associations. Understanding these factors can help individuals and couples integrate the fetish into their sexual lives in a healthy and consensual manner. Communication is key. Partners need to feel comfortable discussing their desires and setting boundaries. This fosters mutual understanding and respect, enhancing the overall sexual relationship.
It's important to address any feelings of shame or guilt that might be associated with having a foot fetish. Societal stigma can lead to internalized negative beliefs about someone’s sexual preferences. As a Bay Area sex therapist, I work with clients to dismantle these harmful beliefs and replace them with self-acceptance and confidence. That said, some people already accept that part of themselves, and doing so can lead to a more satisfying and fulfilling sex life because they’re not trying to hide anything or pretend.
Being authentically yourself in sexual encounters contributes to overall well-being and mental health. For those in relationships, incorporating a foot fetish can be a deeply enriching experience as it may open new avenues for intimacy and connection. Partners can explore each other's bodies and desires in a consensual and respectful manner, leading to greater sexual satisfaction and emotional closeness.
Foot fetishism, like any other fetish, is a unique and personal aspect of someone's sexuality. As a sex-positive and non-pathologizing psychologist and sex therapist, I advocate for the acceptance and celebration of this diversity. By creating a supportive and understanding environment, I help my clients navigate their sexual journeys with confidence and joy.
If that’s something you’d like support with, contact me about working together.