Self-Care During COVID-19
By: Dr. Denise Renye
I don’t have to tell you life is intense right now. We are all concerned about our friends, family, and neighbors. Not only for their health and well-being, but also financially. Businesses are closing left and right, and many people have been laid off, or furloughed. Now more than ever it’s important to step up self-care.
I recognize many people feel underwater right now and self-care may be at the bottom of their list, but even a little goes a long way. Some things, like belly breathing, can be done right now, as you’re reading this! Breathing into the depths of the lungs allowing the belly to expand with ease and then deflate on the exhale is a simple act that may become easy to implement with some practice. Even setting your alarm for 1 minute a day initially is helpful to begin a practice. Also pausing during the day to notice feelings and sensations in the body and going on walks are two other possibilities for self care right now.
Being in nature is so important for me right now. I feel comforted and nurtured when I spend time outside. Living where I do, I’m grateful to have access to the ocean and the ability to watch the waves roll in and roll out. They remind me life continues and has its own rhythm. Spending time by the ocean reminds me this, too, shall pass. Because it will. It may not feel like it right now, but eventually this pandemic will be over. Life won’t return to “normal” because we’ll have a new normal, but our current experience of reality will be different.
In addition to visiting the ocean, I’m stopping to “smell the roses” sometimes literally … and other flowers too. As I do so, I take note of their scent, and other features as well. What are the colors? What are the shapes? Are there new buds ready to bloom? Sometimes I make a mindfulness “game” out of it – how many purple flowers can I spot? Yellow? Pink? Doing so brings me back to the present moment and in the present moment, I’m OK. I’m outside feeling the air on my skin, smelling the eucalyptus trees and sweetgrass, staring at a multitude of colored flowers. Sometimes I walk by the bison paddock in Golden Gate Park. They are mammoth in size and a great reminder of groundedness and stability, which is especially poignant in these uncertain times.
I am aware of the privilege I have to have direct access to such beauty on the regular. I am also historically, personally and professionally aware of the limitations of class and inner city living. I want to offer some ways to access nature and the potential benefits thereof from anywhere you may be while reading this. If you have houseplants, a picture of nature (hardcopy or online access to use a search engine to find one), or even a vivid imagination wherein you can pull up nature in your mind’s eye, you can do an ecopsychology mindfulness exercise that may decrease anxiety and depression. Simply notice the color and imagine the fragrance while you notice how your body and mind react. Slow the breath down allowing for full inhalations and full exhalations.
When I’m not outside, I continue to practice yoga. Restorative yoga in particular is helping me get out of my head and back into my body. As a yoga therapist and teacher, I am using all my props – blocks, straps, blankets – and supporting myself in poses like child’s pose and savasana. It is easy to substitute blankets and pillows for poses of restorative relaxation. It helps me to feel nourished and supported by the Earth. I’m reminded I’m held, that there is ground beneath my feet. My mind can create fantastical stories, like I’m falling into a black hole, but my body is reminded by gravity that I have stability in the here and now.
Speaking of falling into a black hole, I’m limiting my exposure to the news. I’m keeping myself consciously informed, but I don’t let myself get sucked in reading news story after news story. Doing so only increases a sense of panic and anxiety. As a human being, I am doing my best to take good care of myself and as a therapist, it’s important for me to be grounded so I can continue to hold space for my psychotherapy patients, coaching clients, and yoga (therapy) students and clients. I can’t do that sufficiently if I’m lost in a state of panic. I let myself feel my emotions, but there’s a difference between feeling my feelings and whipping myself into a frenzy based on reading frightening news stories.
Self-care during this time also looks like journaling frequently. Free-writing everything that’s on one’s mind so it doesn’t continue to swirl in the brain could be very helpful. An exercise that’s helpful is setting a timer for 2 minutes, keeping pen to paper (no matter what!), and just writing whatever comes up. Having a prompt such as, “What am I feeling right now?” or “What am I grateful for today?” can be helpful to begin the process. With this exercise, you can be as repetitive as you want without worry. Having a journal allows for you to have a personal space that is just yours so that you can first process what you are experiencing inside and then you can connect with friends and family. If you connect with friends and family before taking your own space first, there is a chance they may feel overwhelmed by their own internal experience and potentially not know how to be as present with you as you’d like.
At the same time, it’s also helpful to reach out to friends and family members. Connecting with loved ones (outside of your household) over video conferencing and telephone calls is ideal right now. We may have to maintain our physical distance at the moment, but we can still be close emotionally and that’s something we must all continue holding dear.
With the time at your disposal it could be easy to slump into a darker space of despair. It’s important to take responsibility for your internal landscape. The darker space may be there and you can explore it, but also look around inside through creative activities (drawing, coloring, crafting), meditation (and prayer, if applicable to your practices), and connecting with nature. You may just find there’s a more bucolic landscape than you thought.
If you find it hard to move beyond the feelings of despair and dread, try some of the exercises mentioned here. Also be mindful of your substance intake at this time. It may be easy to slip back into using alcohol or smoking to distract yourself. Lean on community if you are connected to a support group, 12-step group or otherwise. Especially if you live alone, this is not a time to dwell in the darkness without a flashlight of connection with others.
Last but not least, continuing with therapy is essential in these times. Therapists are trained to hold space for big emotions and there are a lot of them right now! It can be extremely helpful to seek emotional support right now. I’m still seeing patients, clients, and students (virtually, of course). I aim to create a container for you to be your whole self. Now is a great time to get in touch with inner resources that perhaps you didn’t know you had. After all, chances are you have more time on your hands than you did just a month or two ago. Reach out to me – I’m here both to support you and to be with you as we take this journey together.
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References
https://www.healthcaredesignmagazine.com/architecture/art-and-mental-health/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2996524/
Farbstein, J., Farling, M., & Wenner, R. (2010). Developing the Evidence for Evidence-Based Design: The Impact of Simulated Nature Views on Stress in a Correctional Setting. New York, NY: American Institute of Architects.