How Reconnecting to the Body Helps Erectile Dysfunction

By: Dr. Denise Renye

I work with a lot of people who have bodies with penises. Sometimes their bodies don't work in the ways they want them to, such as during sex or when they're expressing themselves sexually. Maybe they ejaculate prematurely or they're hypersexual. In others, they may have erectile dysfunction (ED), which is defined as the following: 

·        Getting an erection sometimes, but not every time, the person wants to have intercourse.

·        Having an erection but it not lasting long enough for fulfilling or "satisfactory" intercourse. (Note: Even though medically defined concerns and disorders use words like “satisfactory,” it is very subjective as to what that actually means. Only those in the relationship itself can truly come to an agreement as to what “satisfactory” is.)

·        Not able to get an erection at all.

Sometimes ED is because of health conditions and it’s very important to have a full medical assessment to rule out any medical issue , but up to 20% of cases are psychological. If a person with a penis is stressed, anxious, depressed, having relationship problems, concerned about performance, feeling guilty, or has a low self-esteem, they’ll be unable to get or maintain an erection. The brain impacts the body and vice versa. You cannot separate the two no matter how much some try. And many try, very hard (excuse the choice of words).

It's true that not only feeling stressed or anxious will affect getting or maintaining an erection, but also disconnection from the body in general. I see this in the folx I work with. They are often complex and intricate thinkers. They are highly intellectual, which is fabulous and has gotten them far in life. They are usually very successful in the traditional way society measures success (material wealth, high status, etc.). However, in addition to buying into the patriarchal messages society sends about how they "should" behave and feel, which affects ED, they have also divorced themselves from their bodies.

They could be dissociated from their bodies after years of intensely focused academic study, climbing the corporate ladder, or using their minds to develop the latest advanced technology to change the world. They have learned not to listen to their bodies and are unable to decipher the messages their bodies are sending. That disconnection can impact them in and out of the bedroom.

In our work together, I invite them to deepen their mind-body connection. Connecting their mind, heart, and genitals can be very healing and provide more of an integrated, whole-person solution than just simply taking a little blue pill like Viagra.* I have an audio meditation they can listen to over and over again to support the reconnection.

By doing so, these folx with penises learn more about themselves. They are able to decipher their body's cues and act upon them. They understand their bodies are not machines that obey every command. Instead, the body is a living, breathing organism with its own rhythms and wants. Reconnecting the mind and body creates attunement and harmony, which is more satisfying for everyone involved.     

To set up an appointment with me (Marin County Sexologist), click here.

  *Viagra can be helpful for some folx. But similar to  getting antidepressants from one’s primary care physician without also seeking therapy for depression, just taking Viagra may circumvent  the possibility of  deepening one’s consciousness.

Reference

The Well-being Institute. “Causes and Treatment Options of Psychological Impotence.” University of Cambridge. http://www.cambridgewellbeing.org/psychological.html. Accessed October 14, 2021.