Birthing: A Multifaceted Experience

By: Dr. Denise Renye

Most stories and depictions of birth showcase pain – the pregnant person screaming for drugs, crying, shouting, “Get it out!” and squeezing their partner’s hand so tight it drains of color. What if that’s only one possibility? What if the birth could be…pleasurable? Orgasmic even, or transcendental? It may sound like a fairytale, but hear me out. Orgasmic birthing is the ability to experience an orgasm (or several) during childbirth, which could occur spontaneously or as a result of masturbation or penetration.

An orgasm is possible during childbirth because the baby is moving through the same parts of the body involved in sexual pleasure. As we know, the clitoris is more than the small nub most people think it is, meaning as the baby passes through the vagina it may stimulate the clitoris along the way. An orgasmic birth is also a possibility because of hormones: Oxytocin, the feel-good, bonding hormone, is released during childbirth, lactation, and orgasm.

Orgasmic births are rare, but just how rare is unclear because they are likely underreported, according to Healthline. This is for multiple reasons – because there’s shame or stigma around experiencing any hint of pleasure during something portrayed as stereotypically painful, and because many people aren’t comfortable during labor and therefore pleasure is much harder to access. Not only that, how in touch someone is with their body and how comfortable they are with themselves can increase the chance of a more varied experience of birthing, beyond pain and gloom. We have many resources in our shoppe on this, but one that’s especially relevant for birth is a meditation on vulva gazing.

Lastly, a person’s view on sexuality plays a role in whether they’ll have an orgasmic birth or not. If someone feels shame about their sexuality or thinks it’s “inappropriate” to orgasm during birth, it likely won’t happen for them. There’s nothing shameful about pleasure and we want to change the narrative around birth. Does it have to be excruciatingly painful and even frightening?

Given the appallingly high maternal mortality rate in the U.S., especially for folx of color, we say bring in as much pleasure and enjoyment as possible, whether that’s asking for a private room at the hospital, having a water birth, or moving rather than staying still. Instead of the worst pain of a person’s life, or something to be feared, birth can be pleasurable, at least some of the time during the process. And even if it’s not, the experience can be transcendental or an altered state of consciousness.  

“Transcendental” is defined as the experience of extending self-boundaries inwardly, outwardly, and temporally to take on broader life perspectives, activities, and purposes. In other words, it’s identifying with something greater than you and childbirth is a ripe time for that.

Dr. Wendy Budin writes in the Journal of Perinatal Education:

Natural childbirth, in particular, has the potential for self-transcendence, offering an even greater appreciation for the miracle of life. The normal, natural pain in labor can challenge the core of one's being – it is a healthy sensation that provides direction for women moving through the maze of labor. The challenge of giving birth today is to develop confidence and trust in one's inner wisdom and allow nature to do its thing. When this is accomplished, a woman's body is often permeated and nourished by spiritual energy and guidance. She emerges from her labor bed with a renewed sense of her body's strength and power and with an enhanced spirituality.

What would it be like if we didn’t think of labor as a “quick, get it over with” experience but instead something powerful, spiritual, and perhaps pleasurable? How would we approach it in this culture where we fully medicalize this spiritual miracle?

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References

Budin, Wendy C. “Birth and death: opportunities for self-transcendence.” J Perinat Educ. Spring 2001, Vol. 10:2, pp. 38-42. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1595067/

Marie, Simone. “Orgasmic Labor and Birth: Could It Be for You?” Healthline. September 29, 2021. https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/orgasmic-birth#takeaway

Roots of Labor Birth Collective. https://www.rootsoflaborbc.com/