Envy Among Women: A Symptom of Patriarchy
by Dr. Denise Renye
Envy, the destructive and consuming ‘green eyed monster’ that we know from Othello, is a common emotion that many people experience at some point in their lives, but when it occurs between women, it can take on a unique significance. In taking a closer look at the intricacies of the role of envy among women, it becomes evident that this emotion is not merely a personal failing or a result of individual shortcomings. Instead, envy among women can be seen as a symptom of the patriarchal system, a complex web of social norms and expectations that perpetuates competition and division among women. Envy between women is a manifestation of the patriarchy with the unspoken goal of destabilizing women and increasing the chances of lifting each other up or celebrating each other.
The Patriarchy and Competition Among Women
The patriarchal system, which prioritizes traditional-male dominance and power, often encourages women to compete against each other for limited resources, recognition, and validation. This competition can manifest in various forms, including envy. Women are frequently pitted against one another in a struggle for societal approval, financial security, and success within a (traditional) male-centric framework. As a result, envy becomes a natural response to the constant comparison and competition that the patriarchy fosters.
Unattainable Beauty Standards
One of the most pervasive ways in which the patriarchy fuels envy among women is through the imposition of unattainable beauty standards. The media and advertising industries often present a narrow and idealized image of beauty, leading women to feel envious of those who seemingly conform to these standards. Envy arises when women perceive themselves as falling short, either in terms of physical appearance or the resources required to achieve it, such as access to expensive beauty products or cosmetic procedures.
Limited Opportunities
The patriarchy also limits opportunities for women, creating an environment where competition is fierce. Women may feel envious of others who have managed to break through barriers and succeed, as these opportunities are often scarce and hard-won. Envy can arise when women believe that their achievements are thwarted by a system that favors men, making them feel as though they must vie for the few available opportunities. It’s not untrue that the mainstream reality does thrive in this fashion.
Dividing Women and Diminishing Solidarity
Envy among women not only perpetuates division but also diminishes solidarity. The patriarchy benefits from women's internal strife, as it distracts from the larger issue of gender inequality. When women envy each other, they are less likely to work together to challenge the patriarchal system itself. This internalized competition serves the interests of the patriarchy, which thrives on the disempowerment and disunity of women.
Envy among women is not a standalone problem but rather a symptom of the patriarchal system that perpetuates competition and division among women. To combat this destructive cycle, it is essential to recognize the role that the patriarchy plays in fueling envy and work towards a more equitable society. And this can start with raising awareness of what is. Solidarity and support among women can help break down the barriers of envy and create a more inclusive and empowering environment. By challenging the patriarchal norms that pit women against each other, we can move towards a future where women lift each other up, celebrate each other's successes, and collectively strive for gender equality.
For ideas and ways to f*ck the patriarchy, feel free to stay connected.
To set up an appointment to work together for sex therapy, depth psychotherapy, or holistic coaching now, click here.
Reflect on Personal Experiences: Think about a time when you experienced envy or jealousy in a situation involving other women. What were the circumstances, and what triggered these feelings? How did you cope with these emotions, and did it impact your relationships with other women?
Exploring the Patriarchal Influence: Consider instances where societal norms or expectations related to beauty, success, or competition have affected your perceptions of other women or their perceptions of you. How do these experiences reflect or challenge the patriarchal influence on women's relationships?
Fostering Solidarity: Reflect on moments when you witnessed or participated in acts of support, solidarity, or empowerment among women. How can women come together to challenge the divisive influence of envy and competition perpetuated by the patriarchy? What steps can be taken to build stronger, more supportive female communities?