Healing the Wounds of an Absent Father in the Puella Archetype: A Bay Area Psychologist's Exploration
by Dr. Denise Renye
The presence of a father figure, or lack thereof, plays a crucial role in shaping our psychological development. For individuals with an absent father—whether due to physical absence, emotional neglect, absence due to substance abuse or workaholism or inconsistent presence—there are often deep-rooted wounds that surface in adulthood, especially in women who resonate with the puella archetype. An archetype is a universal symbol or pattern in the collective unconscious that represents fundamental human experiences, emotions, and behaviors, as identified by Carl Jung.
The puella aeterna, or "eternal girl," is a Jungian archetype representing a woman who remains psychologically stuck in a state of youthfulness, avoiding full maturity and the responsibilities of adult life. Recently I attended Jungian analyst Susan E. Shwartz's recent lecture, "Girl Unfolding—Puella’s Emergence: A Jungian Exploration.” I was struck by how Shwartz explained the impact of an absent father and how this dynamic plays out in adult relationships and self-perception.
The Effects of an Absent Father on the Puella Archetype
An absent father can create a significant void in a child’s development, leaving the child, particularly daughters, without the necessary grounding force that fathers often provide. This void can lead to:
Insecurity: Without the steady presence of a father, the individual may struggle to develop a secure sense of self. The father archetype is traditionally associated with structure, protection, and authority. When that is missing, it’s easy for the puella to feel untethered, searching for external validation rather than developing an internal sense of self-worth.
Fear of Commitment and Responsibility: The puella often avoids the responsibilities of adulthood, such as committing to long-term relationships or embracing personal authority. She may remain stuck in patterns of dependency, continually seeking someone else to take charge or care for her. This can manifest in work, relationships, and self-care.
Idealization of Relationships: Without a father’s presence, the puella may idealize relationships with partners, seeking in them the safety, authority, or validation she missed in childhood. Unfortunately, this can lead to disappointment or unhealthy relationships, as no partner can fill the void left by an absent father.
Healing the Absent Father Wound in the Puella Archetype
Healing from the psychological effects of an absent father, especially within the context of the puella archetype, involves a journey of deep inner work. Depth therapy, with its focus on integrating unconscious elements of the psyche, offers a path to healing and growth.
Here are some therapeutic approaches to help women move through the puella archetype toward individuation:
1. Shadow Work and the Father Wound
Shadow work involves exploring the unconscious aspects of the self—those parts we have repressed or disowned. For the puella, this might mean addressing unresolved feelings of abandonment, anger, or grief surrounding the absent father. It’s essential to confront the emotional pain caused by his absence rather than avoiding it.
Experienced and well trained therapists can help clients recognize the patterns in their lives that stem from the father wound, whether it’s difficulty trusting others, fear of responsibility, or feelings of unworthiness. By bringing these hidden emotions to light, healing can begin and clients can reclaim their sense of self.
2. Reclaiming the Inner Father
In Jungian terms, the father archetype represents more than just the physical father—it symbolizes the internalized qualities of authority, protection, and discipline. For women with an absent father, developing an inner father is a crucial step toward healing. This involves cultivating a sense of inner authority, where the individual becomes their own source of guidance and stability.
Through therapy, clients can learn to rely on themselves for validation, creating an internal structure that nurtures confidence, self-discipline, and emotional safety. Reclaiming this inner paternal energy allows the puella to step into adulthood with a newfound sense of security.
3. Embracing Individuation and Responsibility
The puella’s fear of responsibility and commitment is often rooted in a desire to remain carefree and unencumbered by the challenges of adulthood. However, true healing involves embracing the process of individuation—the Jungian term for becoming one’s true self.
Therapy encourages the puella to face the responsibilities of adulthood, not as burdens, but as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. By stepping into her own authority, she can break free from the patterns of avoidance and dependency that have kept her trapped in a perpetual state of immaturity.
4. Inner Child Work
For many puellae, the absence of a father leaves deep wounds in the inner child—the part of the psyche that holds childhood emotions and experiences. Engaging in inner child work helps clients reconnect with that younger version of themselves, providing the care, love, and validation that may have been missing.
By nurturing the inner child and addressing unmet emotional needs, individuals can begin to heal from the pain of an absent father. Inner child work often involves creating new narratives of self-worth and safety, allowing the puella to evolve into a more integrated and mature self.
The Path Forward: Unfolding the Puella Archetype
As I learned during Susan E. Shwartz’s lecture, the journey of the puella is one of unfolding. It’s about moving from a place of dependency and fear into a state of self-awareness, confidence, and emotional maturity. The absence of a father may have left a deep mark on the psyche, but through depth therapy, individuals can heal the father wound, reclaim their inner authority, and step into a more empowered version of themselves.
If you resonate with the puella archetype or have experienced the impact of an absent father in your life, know that healing is possible. Through compassionate therapy, you can begin to navigate the complexities of your emotional landscape and move toward greater wholeness.
If you’re looking to heal from the effects of an absent father or resonate with the puella archetype, I invite you to reach out and work with me. As a sex therapist and psychologist, I specialize in helping individuals navigate these challenges through trauma-informed therapy, supporting your journey toward self-awareness and emotional healing.
Keywords: absent father wound, puella archetype, Jungian therapy for father issues, father wound healing, puella aeterna, absent father psychological effects, father archetype Jungian psychology, shadow work father wound, inner child healing absent father, Susan E. Shwartz puella archetype