A Revolutionary Act of Self-Care in Challenging Times

By: Dr. Denise Renye

We live in an age of oversharing and highlight reels. Social media encourages us to reveal glimpses of our lives to others and technology in general creates constant connectivity. However, there is something people can do for self-care that may feel revolutionary: Mind your own business. That might seem quaint but minding your own business is essential for mental well-being as well as the health of the intimacy in your relationships. As a Bay Area psychologist, I’ve seen that minding your own business can foster a sense of peace, reduce stress, and promote healthier interpersonal relationships.

When you focus on yourself, you reduce the mental clutter that comes from unnecessary involvement in the affairs of others. This clarity allows you to better understand your own needs, desires, and goals such that you may become more centered and content. By not getting entangled in the drama or conflicts of others, you conserve emotional energy that can be better spent on personal growth and self-care.

We all want to support the people in our lives but sometimes being the cheerleader, counselor, or coach can create unnecessary pressure and add anxiety to your life. Sometimes it’s fulfilling to be in those roles but constantly doing so can lead to feelings of frustration and helplessness. Usually, when you give people advice they don’t take it anyway so you might be left thinking, “Why did they ask me for my advice if they aren’t going to take it?” Instead of becoming personally invested in the problems of others, set boundaries and focus on what you can control. Doing so creates a buffer against the stressors of external turmoil.

By minding your own business, you are promoting self-reflection and personal accountability. It redirects your attention from the actions of others to your own behaviors and choices. This shift in focus can lead to greater self-awareness and self-improvement because you’re looking in the mirror and not out in the world. Instead of projecting your issues onto others or trying to fix them, you can work on yourself, addressing your shortcomings and enhancing your strengths.

In my work as a Bay Area psychologist, I’ve also seen that minding your own business can help your interpersonal relationships. Respecting others’ autonomy instead of telling them what to do, fosters mutual respect and trust. When you refrain from unnecessary interference, you show that you trust others to handle their own lives, which can strengthen bonds and improve communication. Doing so encourages a more supportive and less judgmental atmosphere and allows relationships to thrive in a healthier, more balanced manner.

You might have had the experience of no longer wishing to share what’s happening in your life with certain friends because whenever you do, you feel judged or become defensive. They don’t feel like safe people because you leave the conversation feeling worse than when you started. If you’ve had that experience, you know what it feels like when people don’t mind their own business and you can prevent others from feeling that way about you by minding yours.

The practice of minding your own business is not only attractive but crucial for maintaining mental health. By fostering inner peace, reducing stress, and enhancing relationships, this approach can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life. As a Bay Area psychologist and sexologist, I encourage individuals to embrace this mindset, not as an act of indifference, but as a path to personal and communal well-being. In a world where we are often overwhelmed by the lives of others, focusing on ourselves can be a revolutionary act of self-care and respect for the autonomy of those around us.

If you’d like to work with me on this topic or anything else, reach out.