Letting go is not about forgetting or dismissing what has shaped us, but rather about making space for growth, healing, and new possibilities. It is a courageous act of self-compassion, requiring us to release what no longer serves us so we can embrace the fullness of our present and future. Though the process may be uncomfortable or even painful at times, it is also profoundly freeing, offering us the chance to reclaim our energy and refocus on what truly matters. By practicing the art of letting go, we step closer to a life of clarity, balance, and peace, where we can fully inhabit the person we are becoming.

However, while dissociating through fantasy may protect someone from confronting their trauma head-on, it can also delay healing. Over time, reliance on fantasy can inhibit healthier coping strategies and prevent individuals from fully processing their traumatic experiences. In relationships and daily life, excessive use of fantasy may cause difficulty in staying grounded in the present, hindering authentic connections with others.

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it’s important for everyone – not only domestic violence survivors – to understand it’s not so easy for a person to extricate themselves from an abusive situation. The reasons women stay in abusive relationships are multifaceted, involving fear, financial dependence, concern for children, emotional manipulation, hope for change, social pressures, and lack of support. Understanding these reasons is essential for developing effective interventions and support systems to help women safely exit abusive situations.

Trauma, whether emotional or physical, leaves an indelible mark on the psyche. Emotional abuse can include verbal attacks, emotional manipulation, and neglect of emotional needs. Physical abuse encompasses acts of violence or physical harm, while neglect involves the failure to meet basic emotional and physical needs. When these experiences remain unresolved, they create deep-seated fears and defensive mechanisms that can persist into adulthood. These fears often include anxiety about pain, abandonment, and rejection—experiences that were once life-threatening or profoundly hurtful.

If you’re navigating the complexities of being a partner during a gender transition and need support, I’m here to help. As a sex therapist, I specialize in guiding individuals and couples through these challenging times. Reach out here to set up an appointment.

In my work as a Marin County psychologist, I take a trauma-informed approach to addiction treatment that creates a supportive and non-judgmental environment. I approach addiction with compassion and this can help reduce the shame and stigma often associated with both trauma and addiction. This encourages individuals to seek help and engage more fully in the therapeutic process.

Sexuality and relationship issues often stem from past experiences that have left emotional scars or negative beliefs about one’s self and others. EMDR facilitates the reprocessing of these memories, helping individuals to integrate positive and adaptive information, and desensitize the emotional charge associated with past traumas. In the realm of sexuality, EMDR can assist individuals in overcoming inhibitions, shame, or negative self-perceptions that may hinder their healthy sexual expression.