If you’re navigating the complexities of being a partner during a gender transition and need support, I’m here to help. As a sex therapist, I specialize in guiding individuals and couples through these challenging times. Reach out here to set up an appointment.

Our society places a premium on achieving orgasm as the pinnacle of sexual satisfaction so it's easy to lose sight of the many other forms of pleasure that can be found along the way. While orgasms can certainly be a pleasurable and fulfilling part of sex for many people, they are by no means the sole measure of sexual satisfaction, especially when you factor in the issues surrounding orgasms.

Emotional safety plays a crucial role in sexual pleasure. When we feel emotionally safe with our partner, we are more likely to be open, vulnerable, and willing to explore our desires and fantasies. When we trust our partner, we can let go of any inhibitions and fully immerse ourselves in the moment, leading to a more intense and fulfilling sexual experience.

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov first described the term in 1979 in her book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Limerence is less grounded than love because it involves a heck of a lot of projection and fantasy. Instead of seeing the other person for who they are, flaws and all, someone in the throes of limerence will ignore red flags because “love conquers all.” They may imagine activities and outings with the other person, how they’ll dress, what they’ll say because at this point, the other person is still a mystery.  

Sleeping separately helps everyone get a better night’s sleep because they don’t have to contend with snoring, blanket-hogging, or different sleep schedules.

Sex…it’s something that is typically part of a romantic partnership or marriage and it’s wise to have a conversation about it from the beginning of a connection. People may be asexual, pansexual, have a high interest in sex, have kinky desires, prefer a vanilla scene, or anything in between. But there is a prevalent and under-talked about sexual concern in some relationships.

Not that long ago, cross-dressing was the brunt of many jokes. It was considered the height of hilarity to put a man in a dress and heels or a woman in a too-large man’s suit. Some younger people who may be reading this might have a hard time fathoming such a reality, depending on your social circle and location.

In the hypersexualized culture of the U.S., asexuality is not discussed much but it still exists. Around 1% of the population, perhaps more, are asexual (or “aces”) according to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. Asexuality is not celibacy. Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sexual activity whereas asexuality is a sexual orientation intrinsic to the person, similar to other sexual orientations. Asexuality is also not abstinence, a phase, an inability to find a partner, or evidence of sexual dysfunction. It’s an inherent way of being.

By looking within and doing inner child exploration, you may become curious about sexuality, sexual needs, and what is pleasurable for you, which are all important and essential to a healthy and thriving sexual self. Why does this happen? As I mentioned in my previous post, creativity and sexuality are two sides of the same coin.