“What did you do all day while I was working?” It’s a question that stay-at-home parents are regularly asked because the work they do goes unrecognized. Historically, it’s cis-gendered men in heterosexual relationships asking that question of their female partners but not exclusively. People ask that question because the work of the person who stays at home is invisible. The phrase “invisible work” was coined by sociologist Arlene Kaplan Daniels in 1987. She argued what we consider “work” when we think of the term takes place in the public sphere and has financial recompense. That means a whole swathe of work goes unrecognized.

Frankly, sexy is very much in the eye of the beholder and not preordained, but I digress. For people who hold this belief that they aren’t sexy, there’s often fear and terror around their own sexuality – both exploring it and deepening it. However, that’s exactly what’s required to shift the paradigm of the patriarchy.

The divine feminine is not only about bodily sovereignty, it’s about sovereignty period. Did you know the practice of a woman taking her husband’s last name is a vestige of a law that dates back to the 11th century? Sometime after the Norman Conquest, the Normans introduced the idea of “coverture” to the English, which asserted that after she married, a woman’s identity was “covered” by her husband. From the moment of her marriage, a woman was known as a “feme covert” or covered woman. She became “one” with her husband. Her identity was erased and she could not own property or enter into contracts on their own. Husbands had complete control over their wives, legally and financially.

Rigorous, long-term psychological research demonstrates clearly that people who are denied abortions are more likely to experience higher levels of anxiety, lower life satisfaction and lower self-esteem compared with those who are able to obtain abortions. In addition, there is no research to indicate that abortion is a cause for subsequent mental health diagnoses.

Patriarchy focuses mainly on power and has implications for sex, money, and numerous other factors. What patriarchy comes down to is this: giving men power and taking power away from women, nonbinary folx, and “girly” men. In other words, men who display what are perceived as “feminine” traits like sensitivity, vulnerability, and care are less valued under patriarchy and discriminated against.