This dynamic reflects the patriarchal system that often prioritizes men's desires and choices over the emotional well-being of women. Under patriarchy, infidelity is framed as a man's lapse in judgment, and women are seen as “victims” or “homewreckers,” rather than fully formed humans with agency. Patriarchy perpetuates the belief that men can seek fulfillment outside their commitments while women are left to deal with the fallout.

Boundary-setting may feel difficult or foreign even because many (most) folx didn’t learn boundary setting and maintenance growing up. It’s not uncommon for a person with an addiction or addictive behavior to grow up in an environment where boundaries were not honored. For instance, they may have grown up in a chaotic home where there was no enforced bedtime, or their privacy was invaded by a caregiver reading their personal journal. Oftentimes, food, a substance, or behavior is a way to regain a semblance of control in the person’s life and/or offers an escape from emotions that feel too intense to feel. Something that was occasional becomes more frequent until it becomes an addiction.