Through therapy, individuals can develop a clearer understanding of their boundaries, acquire effective communication skills, and overcome guilt and shame associated with asserting their needs. By establishing and maintaining limits, individuals empower themselves, strengthen their sobriety (however that is personally defined).

Boundary-setting may feel difficult or foreign even because many (most) folx didn’t learn boundary setting and maintenance growing up. It’s not uncommon for a person with an addiction or addictive behavior to grow up in an environment where boundaries were not honored. For instance, they may have grown up in a chaotic home where there was no enforced bedtime, or their privacy was invaded by a caregiver reading their personal journal. Oftentimes, food, a substance, or behavior is a way to regain a semblance of control in the person’s life and/or offers an escape from emotions that feel too intense to feel. Something that was occasional becomes more frequent until it becomes an addiction.

Some folx grew up too soon and were forced to be adults before they were ready. This happens for a variety of reasons and one of those reasons is covert incest, also known as enmeshment. Enmeshment occurs when a parent or caregiver looks to their child for emotional support and psychological validation. In other words, there aren’t strong boundaries within the family. And those strong boundaries are necessary for the safety of the child. They are also necessary for the safety of the parent’s psyche but the child’s psyche is really negatively affected.

The healing happens in the space between the hearts and minds and spirits of the patient and the therapist. The relationship is the healing container.

How do you identify your boundaries? A good clue comes from feelings. Are you uncomfortable, resentful, stressed, anxious, or fearful? All signs that perhaps your boundaries have been crossed. When boundaries are set and adhered to,