How does a person with an addiction break free from this cycle? I’ve witnessed over and over again that people often become sober when they learn they can feel their feelings safely. They can bring the feelings out of the shadows and into their body by calling someone who understands, going to therapy, freewriting, using spirituality, or setting a timer to allot how long they’ll let themselves feel.
Read MoreAs you continue the journey of being an inner loving parent, realize that you will make mistakes and that’s OK. The important thing is to apologize to your inner kids and then do things differently. Show them/yourself that you want to do better and then do it. Remember, it’s never too late to be the parent you always wanted.
Read MoreThe big difference with spirituality is it’s not based on hierarchy. There’s no barrier between you and a spiritual figure or force. Instead of a middle person or religious leader telling you what to think or do, there’s direct access. With spirituality, there may be certain rituals (lighting a candle, playing certain music, etc.) but there also may not be. It’s up to you what you do and what you don’t do.
Read MoreYou can communicate with your inner child(ren) as much as you’d like, and as with anything, as long as it doesn’t interfere with other areas of your life. Your active imagination can take you far. Where do you want to go?
Read MorePerfectionism is an attempt to hold onto the illusion of control. It’s a creation of the mind to give a sense of power to a situation or environment where helplessness may abound. When the environment is chaotic, the mind wants to create control from within. One way of doing that is to begin a practice of self-discipline and buy into the idea that perfection exists and that you can embody it in this world (you simply cannot). Inner child work can be healing for perfectionism.
Read MoreSome folx grew up too soon and were forced to be adults before they were ready. This happens for a variety of reasons and one of those reasons is covert incest, also known as enmeshment. Enmeshment occurs when a parent or caregiver looks to their child for emotional support and psychological validation. In other words, there aren’t strong boundaries within the family. And those strong boundaries are necessary for the safety of the child. They are also necessary for the safety of the parent’s psyche but the child’s psyche is really negatively affected.
Read MoreWhy is inner child play a way to heal from trauma? Because every time something substantial or traumatic took place in your life, it was registered within and inner child play is one avenue of healing, if you wish to engage with it.
Read MoreFor someone in that situation, it may feel confusing or even like gaslighting. Generally, people want healthy, functional, emotionally regulated parents. There’s grief when that’s not present and why focusing on reparenting yourself can be so healing. To see the sort of parenting you wish you could have received given to your kids, but not to you, can bring up numerous feelings.
Read MoreIn other words, being a teenager may not have been the idyllic time you remember it being. If you find yourself wishing you could go back to high school, that could be a symptom of something else. Maybe you’re longing for certain qualities you’re not experiencing as an adult. Maybe you want more play and creativity. Or perhaps you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed by “adulting” and could use a playdate with your inner children. It could also be that you’re lonely and want more time with your friends.
Read MoreWhat people often forget is it’s hard being a child; there are numerous milestones kids go through before they’re 5 years old. They learn gross motor skills like rolling over and crawling, which is a very big deal. They are going from being immobile, dependent on those around them to do everything, to learning and becoming more independent somatically.
Read MoreBy looking within and doing inner child exploration, you may become curious about sexuality, sexual needs, and what is pleasurable for you, which are all important and essential to a healthy and thriving sexual self. Why does this happen? As I mentioned in my previous post, creativity and sexuality are two sides of the same coin.
Read MoreYour creative, and thus sexual, energy is life-sustaining. It’s an expression that is unleashed and followed. Your creative expression is an energy that can be surrendered to and followed. It is the flow of life. The flow of life can be blocked for numerous reasons – primarily trauma, but also social conditioning. Inner child play can unblock that flow and transform your whole person.
Read MorePeople in the process of healing their inner children may undergo this acceptance process as well. They may no longer fight life but accept it as it is. They may also start to trust the process and themselves, knowing it will lead to somewhere new, more integrated, and more whole.
Read MoreAnd the way to access that true self is through play. Children love to play. And adults do too. However, social conditioning takes us away from play.
Read MoreAs you’re familiarizing yourself with your inner child, it’s important to engage in a conversation and determine what pronoun they prefer. Doing so ensures your inner kid feels seen and heard. From there, a relationship can build. Why does this matter? Why would you want to befriend your inner child? Because each time something substantial or traumatic happens, there is a marker within wherein that very inner child was wounded and she, he, or they may have numbed a bit more and more each time just to stay alive in the family they grew up in or this world at large. Have you had a look recently? It’s a pretty wild one.
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