The key to a more intimate sex life is open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to explore and connect with your partner on multiple levels. It's important to understand each other's needs and desires and to create an environment that encourages trust and vulnerability. 

Identifying feelings is a vital skill for emotional and sexual well-being. Through mindfulness, journaling, emotion identification exercises, therapeutic dialogue, and body awareness, individuals can enhance their emotional intelligence and foster healthier relationships. Overcoming barriers to emotional awareness and cultivating self-compassion are essential components of this journey. As a psychologist and sexologist, my role is to support individuals in navigating their emotional landscapes, helping to promote greater self-awareness, and ultimately helping to lead them toward a more fulfilling and emotionally rich life.

Identifying the traits of an emotionally available person can help you assess a potential or current partner and also demonstrate where either or both of you could use some support. Emotional availability is a spectrum whereby some people are more available than others. In other words, every person can become more emotionally available, if they choose. And if they do, I bet they’ll find deeper and more meaningful connections.

As I mentioned earlier, everyone makes mistakes and screws up. Conflict is a normal part of every relationship so the question is not if there’s conflict but rather what happens when there’s conflict. In fact, if there is no conflict that may give  you pause. Consider  what’s not being addressed. An emotionally available person addresses conflicts directly and constructively. They are open to compromise and finding solutions together. If it upsets you when they leave their bathroom towel on the floor, they’ll talk to you about it and figure out a solution collaboratively that works for both of you.   

The inner critic is born from unprocessed childhood trauma. If you dig deeper, you’ll likely find the inner critic voice is eerily similar to a parent or guardian, either in words you heard or interpretations through actions they showed. We often internalize those voices and messages that whisper tales of inadequacy and unworthiness. There may have been neglect, rejection, or emotional abuse in childhood and so to deal with the pain, often an inner critic arises that repeats these negative messages in an effort to wound yourself before anyone else has the chance to wound you. On the other hand, the inner critic may say, “If only you did things the right way, everything would be fine.”

The internet, and people in general, like to speak in absolutes about what people should do. But in my work as a sex therapist, I give space for my clients to figure out what is best for them, whether that’s ending the relationship with the emotionally unavailable person or supporting them as they navigate staying together. However, there are some general guidelines for healing.