What you’re doing as you eye gaze is slowing down, which can feel challenging in a society that encourages moving at warp speed. Eye gazing with yourself or another cultivates patience, listening, inquiring, and learning about the person you see in an unhurried and respectful way. All of that can lead to a healthier, more satisfying, and intimate relationship. Are you ready to try eye gazing? If so, read through my tips as an experienced online sex therapist.

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it’s important for everyone – not only domestic violence survivors – to understand it’s not so easy for a person to extricate themselves from an abusive situation. The reasons women stay in abusive relationships are multifaceted, involving fear, financial dependence, concern for children, emotional manipulation, hope for change, social pressures, and lack of support. Understanding these reasons is essential for developing effective interventions and support systems to help women safely exit abusive situations.

With awareness, compassion, and a willingness to confront past wounds, it is possible to overcome the fear of intimacy and embrace the vulnerability that intimacy requires. As a Marin County sex therapist, it is deeply rewarding to work with clients who move through these fears and into more fulfilling, connected relationships.

LGBTQIA+ organizations must maintain their autonomy and grassroots connections while engaging with corporate partners thoughtfully. Consumers, in turn, can support businesses that demonstrate genuine commitment to diversity and inclusion beyond Pride Month. Far too many, like Target, are fair-weather friends.

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation, however, so it’s also important to foster connections with supportive relationships and communities. Doing so can provide validation, understanding, and a sense of belonging, which are essential components of healing from trauma.

The key to a more intimate sex life is open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to explore and connect with your partner on multiple levels. It's important to understand each other's needs and desires and to create an environment that encourages trust and vulnerability. 

Identifying the traits of an emotionally available person can help you assess a potential or current partner and also demonstrate where either or both of you could use some support. Emotional availability is a spectrum whereby some people are more available than others. In other words, every person can become more emotionally available, if they choose. And if they do, I bet they’ll find deeper and more meaningful connections.

I want you to think about it for a minute – this is before webcams, before OnlyFans, before all of it. Women couldn’t even get credit cards in their own name before 1974 and here Doda was dancing topless before a crowd. And it wasn’t merely titillation for its own sake (although that’s fine too), she crafted a sophisticated performance. She did comedy, sang, pulled people up on stage with her, and had them undress her. Her performance was designed to appeal to a diverse audience, including couples who sought a novel form of entertainment. She offered a space where couples could explore and celebrate their sexuality openly and without shame.

Gone are the days when marriage meant being with someone solely for the sake of fulfilling societal expectations or securing financial stability. Now people seek partners who offer emotional availability, understanding, and support. They desire relationships built on mutual respect, shared values, and a sense of partnership. They want companions who enhance their lives and share their journeys. People want a partner who listens with empathy, communicates openly, and demonstrates emotional maturity. It’s part of the reason I’ve seen an uptick in requests for premarital counseling – modern couples recognize marriage takes effort and they want to enter their marriage with as many tools in their toolbox as possible.

Our society places a premium on achieving orgasm as the pinnacle of sexual satisfaction so it's easy to lose sight of the many other forms of pleasure that can be found along the way. While orgasms can certainly be a pleasurable and fulfilling part of sex for many people, they are by no means the sole measure of sexual satisfaction, especially when you factor in the issues surrounding orgasms.

The inner critic is born from unprocessed childhood trauma. If you dig deeper, you’ll likely find the inner critic voice is eerily similar to a parent or guardian, either in words you heard or interpretations through actions they showed. We often internalize those voices and messages that whisper tales of inadequacy and unworthiness. There may have been neglect, rejection, or emotional abuse in childhood and so to deal with the pain, often an inner critic arises that repeats these negative messages in an effort to wound yourself before anyone else has the chance to wound you. On the other hand, the inner critic may say, “If only you did things the right way, everything would be fine.”

The internet, and people in general, like to speak in absolutes about what people should do. But in my work as a sex therapist, I give space for my clients to figure out what is best for them, whether that’s ending the relationship with the emotionally unavailable person or supporting them as they navigate staying together. However, there are some general guidelines for healing.