Healthy love doesn’t ask you to disappear. It doesn’t require you to manage someone else’s feelings or constantly prove your loyalty.

Healthy love invites you to stay connected to yourself and another.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present—with compassion, with boundaries, and with the courage to love without losing yourself.

Sometimes, holding space means also knowing when to call in backup. Whether it’s a therapist, a support group, or a trusted friend, don’t hesitate to suggest (or seek) additional help. You’re not failing by doing so—you’re honoring the complexity of being human.

Back in my work with breast cancer survivors, this often meant helping participants find therapists or clinicians who understood the nuances of their identities. Everyone deserves care that sees the whole person. If you're unsure where to begin, a referral from a trusted professional can go a long way.

Instead of scheduling sex, consider scheduling time for erotic connection—which could mean anything from sensual touch, to taking a bath together, to lying in bed and fantasizing without any goal. The difference? Spaciousness. Curiosity. Freedom to explore without the demand to perform.

We still live in a culture that prefers clear boxes—straight, queer, partnered, single, monogamous, poly—but those boxes don’t hold the full truth of who we are. What if we stopped trying to fit and simply started feeling? What if we trusted our turn-ons, our longings, our quiet knowing?

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need a new label to justify your exploration. You just need to listen inward and follow what feels alive.

You are not too late.
You are not broken.
You are not betraying your past.

The end of a long-term relationship, especially a marriage or domestic partnership, often brings with it a specific kind of grief: one that’s not just about losing a person, but about losing the world you built with them—and the version of yourself that lived in that world.

This isn’t just a breakup. It’s a death of self.
It’s an ego death.
It’s the dark night of the soul.

At its core, patriarchy values power over presence. It teaches us to relate through control, hierarchy, and rigidity rather than through curiosity, vulnerability, and collaboration. It hands us roles to perform instead of inviting us into relationships where we can be seen and met as our full selves.

Cultural messaging reinforces the idea that sex should happen quickly in relationships. From movies and TV shows that depict instant passion to dating culture that normalizes casual encounters, we are often encouraged to move fast without questioning whether deeper intimacy is developing alongside physical connection.

Empaths are not meant to shut down their sensitivity or build walls around their hearts. Instead, they can learn how to channel their gifts in ways that nourish rather than exhaust them. For me, teaching Yoga for Empaths was a powerful reminder of how essential embodiment is for deep feelers. We do not have to be consumed by the emotions around us—we can feel, hold space, and still remain whole within ourselves.

Despite representing only about 1% of the U.S. adult population, the trans community is being targeted over and over again by politicians, which makes community support all the more crucial. On Sunday night, I attended a powerful event at The Green Room in San Francisco, where the community gathered to uplift trans voices through music, food, and well-deserved awards.

Sometimes it may feel that society says here is the “right” way to be in a relationship and here is the “wrong” way. As an online sex therapist, let me assure you that every relationship is unique and shaped by the people involved and the kind of connection they seek. There is no single “right” way to be in a relationship, only what feels right for you.

You can read more about tantra here but for couples therapy and in my couples coaching programs, I emphasize that it’s about the integration and harmonization of polarities and opposites. This involves recognizing and reconciling dualities such as light and dark, masculine and feminine, and heaven and Earth. It seeks to transcend these dualities to reach a higher state of consciousness and unity of nonduality.

If you’re navigating the complexities of being a partner during a gender transition and need support, I’m here to help. As a sex therapist, I specialize in guiding individuals and couples through these challenging times. Reach out here to set up an appointment.

With awareness, compassion, and a willingness to confront past wounds, it is possible to overcome the fear of intimacy and embrace the vulnerability that intimacy requires. As a Marin County sex therapist, it is deeply rewarding to work with clients who move through these fears and into more fulfilling, connected relationships.

Promoting bisexual visibility is essential. Positive representation in media, literature, and public discourse can help normalize bisexuality and provide role models for those struggling with their identity. By seeing their experiences reflected and validated, bisexual individuals can gain the confidence to embrace their true selves.

As I mentioned earlier, everyone makes mistakes and screws up. Conflict is a normal part of every relationship so the question is not if there’s conflict but rather what happens when there’s conflict. In fact, if there is no conflict that may give  you pause. Consider  what’s not being addressed. An emotionally available person addresses conflicts directly and constructively. They are open to compromise and finding solutions together. If it upsets you when they leave their bathroom towel on the floor, they’ll talk to you about it and figure out a solution collaboratively that works for both of you.   

Vibrators can contribute to stress relief, relaxation, and enhanced blood flow, potentially leading to better sexual health. For some people, a vibrator can also help with pain relief, particularly for menstrual cramps or pelvic discomfort. And for people who want to use a vibrator for more than masturbation, it can promote intimacy and communication with a partner. As a Marin County sex therapist, I work with couples around communication and sometimes even how sexual expression could include toys.

Learning you perpetuate misogyny may stir up some emotions but please don’t let this be something else you beat yourself up about. It’s not your fault. Our society operates with a hatred of women and has operated with this hatred for centuries. It’s hard not to be affected by it. However, by even acknowledging it’s there, you’re working to unravel the cultural hex that seems to have been placed upon us all and you’re contributing to the rising divine feminine. Doing so results in a better world for us all.

Psychedelics have the potential to profoundly impact one's understanding of their sexuality and sexual expression. By heightening sensations, dissolving boundaries, fostering self-reflection, facilitating healing, and nurturing spiritual connections, these substances can pave the way for a more authentic and fulfilling sexual self.

For folx who have sex with people with clitorises, it’s important that they realize vaginal penetration alone may not cut it, and as with all satisfying sex, communication is key. At Whole Person Integration, we say bring consciousness back to the bedroom. Communicate wants and desires. But also explore…and explore widely, vastly, and wildly…if you so desire. You may have “tried and true” methods of coming but part of the fun with sex is learning new forms of pleasure. What else can you try? The answer may surprise you.

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov first described the term in 1979 in her book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Limerence is less grounded than love because it involves a heck of a lot of projection and fantasy. Instead of seeing the other person for who they are, flaws and all, someone in the throes of limerence will ignore red flags because “love conquers all.” They may imagine activities and outings with the other person, how they’ll dress, what they’ll say because at this point, the other person is still a mystery.