The collective still very deeply holds the trauma that has been caused by the violence directed toward non-straight people. This may be directly held by older generations in the lgbtqia+ but it may be held in the psyche of the younger generations. Creating space for these feelings to be expressed, explored, and held without judgment is important for healing this wound. Discrimination scars and some folx may not feel they have the space and time to heal in the ways needed. Let us hold that as we move forward in this Pride month. There is space for everyone to celebrate and heal in community.

That’s a problem for numerous reasons but what’s interesting to me is that straightwashing is not relegated to Hollywood. When someone gets into a man-woman relationship, people default to calling it a heterosexual one or believing both parties are heterosexual. It may look that way on the outside, but is it? What if one or both people are bisexual, pansexual, or identify in a way other than hetero? What if one or both people are trans?

Non-gay people do not have a right to use the word f*ggot, just as they are not allowed to greet each other with the word “homo.” The diminutive version of the word homosexual is not used as a descriptor, it’s used as an insult or a joke. In other words, it causes harm to anyone who identifies as a homosexual or falls closer to that side of the sexuality continuum.

Paternity leave is good for everyone and yet when we have a public example of someone doing that in the U.S., he’s criticized for “taking a vacation.” As Buttigieg pointed out to NBC News, “When somebody welcomes a new child into their family and goes on leave to take care of that child, that’s not a vacation; it’s work. It’s joyful, wonderful, fulfilling work. But it is work.”

Not everyone will fit in with everyone else because people are different even if they are under a large umbrella together. Pride offers something for everyone! There are parties for gay boys, leather daddies, leather dykes, knitting circles, wellness events, political events, dance parties, and parades. A few years ago, I taught yoga during SF Pride at the Women’s Building in San Francisco. The mind-body events are a very different feel, and while there can definitely be some overlap it can be a different subcommunity than can be found bumpin and grindin at da club, as you can imagine.

From my point of view as a certified sexologist, the institution of religion (very different from spirituality, mind you) is fixated on the topic. The Catholic Church doesn’t teach comprehensive sexuality education and instead advocates abstinence only until marriage, which as we’ve seen over and over doesn’t work. In 2017, Columbia University published two studies on the topic and found “The weight of scientific evidence shows these programs do not help young people delay initiation of sexual intercourse.”