During my time at Widener, SAR was an integral part of the curriculum, providing an opportunity to confront personal biases, challenge societal norms, and explore the wide spectrum of sexual expression. The experience was both confronting and liberating as it pushed us students to recognize and dismantle any prejudices or discomforts we might have had around certain sexual topics or behaviors.

In a sex-positive framework, which I practice as a Bay Area sex therapist and psychologist, consensual adult sexual expressions are valid and worthy of respect. This means I view foot fetishes not as a disorder or abnormality but as a natural variation of human sexuality. The sex-positive approach is grounded in the belief that sexual diversity is a normal and healthy part of life. It challenges the notion that only certain types of sexual expressions are acceptable and encourages people to explore and express their sexuality in ways that feel authentic and fulfilling to them.

For older people who had psychedelic experiences in their earlier years, those memories can serve as profound touchstones for current self-exploration and healing. The essence of those experiences—whether a sense of unity, deep emotional release, or a transcendent connection to something greater—can be revisited and integrated into present-day life. This process can be particularly enriching when addressing aspects of senior sexuality.

It was in the 1980s when she became a celebrity, frankly discussing sex on her popular late-night radio show, Sexually Speaking. She was in her 50s at that time, a Crone. So often, women at that age and stage of life face ageism and are portrayed as asexual or “dried up.” When sex is discussed for elderly folx, it’s often as a punchline. Dr. Ruth showed that sex remains important in midlife and beyond.

We live in a society where trans folx are under attack just for being themselves which means there are unique challenges to exploring their sexuality such as body dysphoria, societal stigma, and limited access to affirming sexual health resources. As a Marin County sexologist, I’m an advocate for everyone having a healthy, satisfying sex life, and that includes trans folx. What follows are eight tips for how to do that.

Promoting bisexual visibility is essential. Positive representation in media, literature, and public discourse can help normalize bisexuality and provide role models for those struggling with their identity. By seeing their experiences reflected and validated, bisexual individuals can gain the confidence to embrace their true selves.

The key to a more intimate sex life is open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to explore and connect with your partner on multiple levels. It's important to understand each other's needs and desires and to create an environment that encourages trust and vulnerability. 

Identifying the traits of an emotionally available person can help you assess a potential or current partner and also demonstrate where either or both of you could use some support. Emotional availability is a spectrum whereby some people are more available than others. In other words, every person can become more emotionally available, if they choose. And if they do, I bet they’ll find deeper and more meaningful connections.

Gone are the days when marriage meant being with someone solely for the sake of fulfilling societal expectations or securing financial stability. Now people seek partners who offer emotional availability, understanding, and support. They desire relationships built on mutual respect, shared values, and a sense of partnership. They want companions who enhance their lives and share their journeys. People want a partner who listens with empathy, communicates openly, and demonstrates emotional maturity. It’s part of the reason I’ve seen an uptick in requests for premarital counseling – modern couples recognize marriage takes effort and they want to enter their marriage with as many tools in their toolbox as possible.

Our society places a premium on achieving orgasm as the pinnacle of sexual satisfaction so it's easy to lose sight of the many other forms of pleasure that can be found along the way. While orgasms can certainly be a pleasurable and fulfilling part of sex for many people, they are by no means the sole measure of sexual satisfaction, especially when you factor in the issues surrounding orgasms.

The inner critic is born from unprocessed childhood trauma. If you dig deeper, you’ll likely find the inner critic voice is eerily similar to a parent or guardian, either in words you heard or interpretations through actions they showed. We often internalize those voices and messages that whisper tales of inadequacy and unworthiness. There may have been neglect, rejection, or emotional abuse in childhood and so to deal with the pain, often an inner critic arises that repeats these negative messages in an effort to wound yourself before anyone else has the chance to wound you. On the other hand, the inner critic may say, “If only you did things the right way, everything would be fine.”

Vibrators can contribute to stress relief, relaxation, and enhanced blood flow, potentially leading to better sexual health. For some people, a vibrator can also help with pain relief, particularly for menstrual cramps or pelvic discomfort. And for people who want to use a vibrator for more than masturbation, it can promote intimacy and communication with a partner. As a Marin County sex therapist, I work with couples around communication and sometimes even how sexual expression could include toys.

Consent is the crucial element in this discussion. None of these women and girls (because deepfake pornography is also being created about young girls) said “yes” to having their faces splashed across the internet engaging in sexual acts. In an era where privacy is increasingly compromised, the ability to obtain someone's image or voice without their knowledge and then manipulate it for malicious purposes poses a serious threat. These women, because it’s almost exclusively women, are victimized by the unauthorized use of their likeness, leading to emotional distress and strain on their relationships.

We all know TV and movies don’t always get it right in terms of their portrayals so how does Sex Education stack up in regards to sex therapy? Is it more fiction than fact? Surprisingly, no. Is it unrealistic that Otis would know so much about sex therapy without going through proper training and certification? Absolutely. As a Bay Area sex therapist and sexologist, I had a rigorous training process – more than 300 hours of additional training and an additional 50 extra hours of supervision on top of my licensure. The things I learned cannot be gleaned by osmosis so in that way, Sex Education is a complete work of fiction.

For individuals exploring kink, having a kink-friendly therapist can be crucial to feeling understood and supported in therapy. Many people with non-mainstream sexual interests worry about being judged, misunderstood, or even shamed. A kink-friendly sex therapist:

NVC is a method of speaking and listening developed by psychologist Dr. Marshall Rosenberg based on the premise that connection more easily leads to solutions. Oftentimes when people communicate with one another it’s in a binary way: “I’m right, you’re wrong,” or “I’m good and you’re bad.” These ways of thinking often lead to anger and anger can lead to violence if it’s not expressed healthily.

While over-familiarity can indeed decrease sexual attraction, it is not an inevitable outcome of a long-term relationship. Couples can take steps to maintain and even reignite their sexual attraction.

Constant phone use, including scrolling through social media, texting, or even playing mobile games, can lead to a lack of genuine emotional connection. Partners may struggle to engage in meaningful conversations and share their thoughts, dreams, and concerns when one or both individuals are constantly distracted by their devices. The emotional connection that once held the couple together may begin to erode and they may drift further apart.

In Colorado, where vibrant city life meets the tranquility of nature, many couples may feel pressure to keep their relationships strong, especially amidst life’s daily demands. For couples in Denver, Boulder, Fort Collins, and beyond, online sex therapy offers an effective, boutique therapy option to address intimacy challenges, rebuild connection, and enhance relationship communication. With over 20 years of experience as a licensed sex therapist, trained in the prestigious human sexuality program at Widener University in Philadelphia, I provide tailored, highly specialized support to help couples achieve meaningful progress in their relationships.

Deepening the understanding the Divine Feminine and how it can offer men a profound opportunity for personal growth and transformation can be a simple (yet not easy) way to life a more full spectrum life. By embracing these qualities and energies, men can develop greater emotional intelligence, balance, and self-acceptance.