Growing up with emotionally immature parents presents significant challenges to understanding a person’s sexual self and forming healthy intimate relationships. However, with targeted therapeutic interventions, people can learn to navigate these complexities, fostering a healthier and more fulfilling sexual and relational life.

I’ve also seen that minding your own business can help your interpersonal relationships. Respecting others’ autonomy instead of telling them what to do, fosters mutual respect and trust. When you refrain from unnecessary interference, you show that you trust others to handle their own lives, which can strengthen bonds and improve communication. Doing so encourages a more supportive and less judgmental atmosphere and allows relationships to thrive in a healthier, more balanced manner.

It was in the 1980s when she became a celebrity, frankly discussing sex on her popular late-night radio show, Sexually Speaking. She was in her 50s at that time, a Crone. So often, women at that age and stage of life face ageism and are portrayed as asexual or “dried up.” When sex is discussed for elderly folx, it’s often as a punchline. Dr. Ruth showed that sex remains important in midlife and beyond.

We live in a society where trans folx are under attack just for being themselves which means there are unique challenges to exploring their sexuality such as body dysphoria, societal stigma, and limited access to affirming sexual health resources. As a Marin County sexologist, I’m an advocate for everyone having a healthy, satisfying sex life, and that includes trans folx. What follows are eight tips for how to do that.

Embracing s’alka can encourage my clients to explore and integrate these raw, natural aspects of their identity which can create a fuller, more balanced sense of self. This approach can help them break free from societal or self-imposed constraints and allow them to experience greater authenticity and freedom.

Promoting bisexual visibility is essential. Positive representation in media, literature, and public discourse can help normalize bisexuality and provide role models for those struggling with their identity. By seeing their experiences reflected and validated, bisexual individuals can gain the confidence to embrace their true selves.

LGBTQIA+ organizations must maintain their autonomy and grassroots connections while engaging with corporate partners thoughtfully. Consumers, in turn, can support businesses that demonstrate genuine commitment to diversity and inclusion beyond Pride Month. Far too many, like Target, are fair-weather friends.

In my work as a Marin County psychologist, I take a trauma-informed approach to addiction treatment that creates a supportive and non-judgmental environment. I approach addiction with compassion and this can help reduce the shame and stigma often associated with both trauma and addiction. This encourages individuals to seek help and engage more fully in the therapeutic process.

Pride and “Kinky Boots” demonstrate how everyone’s liberation is bound up with everyone else’s because the fight for LGBTQIA+ rights is intertwined with broader struggles for social justice and economic democracy. Celebrating Pride means honoring alliances and the progress achieved. It also means acknowledging the ongoing challenges and continuing to advocate for equality and acceptance for all people.

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation, however, so it’s also important to foster connections with supportive relationships and communities. Doing so can provide validation, understanding, and a sense of belonging, which are essential components of healing from trauma.

Finding the right sex therapist is a pivotal step towards reclaiming agency and fulfillment in matters of intimacy. By prioritizing specialization, compatibility, therapeutic approach, experience, ongoing education, and logistical considerations, you can identify a therapist who empowers you to navigate the complexities of sexuality with confidence and resilience. Remember, the journey towards sexual well-being is a collaborative endeavor, and with the right therapist by your side, transformation is within reach.

The key to a more intimate sex life is open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to explore and connect with your partner on multiple levels. It's important to understand each other's needs and desires and to create an environment that encourages trust and vulnerability. 

Identifying feelings is a vital skill for emotional and sexual well-being. Through mindfulness, journaling, emotion identification exercises, therapeutic dialogue, and body awareness, individuals can enhance their emotional intelligence and foster healthier relationships. Overcoming barriers to emotional awareness and cultivating self-compassion are essential components of this journey. As a psychologist and sexologist, my role is to support individuals in navigating their emotional landscapes, helping to promote greater self-awareness, and ultimately helping to lead them toward a more fulfilling and emotionally rich life.

Identifying the traits of an emotionally available person can help you assess a potential or current partner and also demonstrate where either or both of you could use some support. Emotional availability is a spectrum whereby some people are more available than others. In other words, every person can become more emotionally available, if they choose. And if they do, I bet they’ll find deeper and more meaningful connections.

As I mentioned earlier, everyone makes mistakes and screws up. Conflict is a normal part of every relationship so the question is not if there’s conflict but rather what happens when there’s conflict. In fact, if there is no conflict that may give  you pause. Consider  what’s not being addressed. An emotionally available person addresses conflicts directly and constructively. They are open to compromise and finding solutions together. If it upsets you when they leave their bathroom towel on the floor, they’ll talk to you about it and figure out a solution collaboratively that works for both of you.   

I want you to think about it for a minute – this is before webcams, before OnlyFans, before all of it. Women couldn’t even get credit cards in their own name before 1974 and here Doda was dancing topless before a crowd. And it wasn’t merely titillation for its own sake (although that’s fine too), she crafted a sophisticated performance. She did comedy, sang, pulled people up on stage with her, and had them undress her. Her performance was designed to appeal to a diverse audience, including couples who sought a novel form of entertainment. She offered a space where couples could explore and celebrate their sexuality openly and without shame.

Gone are the days when marriage meant being with someone solely for the sake of fulfilling societal expectations or securing financial stability. Now people seek partners who offer emotional availability, understanding, and support. They desire relationships built on mutual respect, shared values, and a sense of partnership. They want companions who enhance their lives and share their journeys. People want a partner who listens with empathy, communicates openly, and demonstrates emotional maturity. It’s part of the reason I’ve seen an uptick in requests for premarital counseling – modern couples recognize marriage takes effort and they want to enter their marriage with as many tools in their toolbox as possible.

Our society places a premium on achieving orgasm as the pinnacle of sexual satisfaction so it's easy to lose sight of the many other forms of pleasure that can be found along the way. While orgasms can certainly be a pleasurable and fulfilling part of sex for many people, they are by no means the sole measure of sexual satisfaction, especially when you factor in the issues surrounding orgasms.

The inner critic is born from unprocessed childhood trauma. If you dig deeper, you’ll likely find the inner critic voice is eerily similar to a parent or guardian, either in words you heard or interpretations through actions they showed. We often internalize those voices and messages that whisper tales of inadequacy and unworthiness. There may have been neglect, rejection, or emotional abuse in childhood and so to deal with the pain, often an inner critic arises that repeats these negative messages in an effort to wound yourself before anyone else has the chance to wound you. On the other hand, the inner critic may say, “If only you did things the right way, everything would be fine.”

The internet, and people in general, like to speak in absolutes about what people should do. But in my work as a sex therapist, I give space for my clients to figure out what is best for them, whether that’s ending the relationship with the emotionally unavailable person or supporting them as they navigate staying together. However, there are some general guidelines for healing.