Posts in Sexuality
Marin County Sex Therapist on The Erasure of Bisexuality and Why It Matters

Promoting bisexual visibility is essential. Positive representation in media, literature, and public discourse can help normalize bisexuality and provide role models for those struggling with their identity. By seeing their experiences reflected and validated, bisexual individuals can gain the confidence to embrace their true selves.

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Corporate Sponsorship vs. Genuine Support During Pride

LGBTQIA+ organizations must maintain their autonomy and grassroots connections while engaging with corporate partners thoughtfully. Consumers, in turn, can support businesses that demonstrate genuine commitment to diversity and inclusion beyond Pride Month. Far too many, like Target, are fair-weather friends.

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How to Add More Intimacy to Your Sex Life

The key to a more intimate sex life is open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to explore and connect with your partner on multiple levels. It's important to understand each other's needs and desires and to create an environment that encourages trust and vulnerability. 

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Deeper Connections: Further Insights on Emotional Availability from a Bay Area Sex Therapist

Identifying the traits of an emotionally available person can help you assess a potential or current partner and also demonstrate where either or both of you could use some support. Emotional availability is a spectrum whereby some people are more available than others. In other words, every person can become more emotionally available, if they choose. And if they do, I bet they’ll find deeper and more meaningful connections.

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Bay Area Sex Therapist Reveals Why Marriage Has Evolved

Gone are the days when marriage meant being with someone solely for the sake of fulfilling societal expectations or securing financial stability. Now people seek partners who offer emotional availability, understanding, and support. They desire relationships built on mutual respect, shared values, and a sense of partnership. They want companions who enhance their lives and share their journeys. People want a partner who listens with empathy, communicates openly, and demonstrates emotional maturity. It’s part of the reason I’ve seen an uptick in requests for premarital counseling – modern couples recognize marriage takes effort and they want to enter their marriage with as many tools in their toolbox as possible.

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Beyond Orgasms: Exploring the Pleasure of Sex

Our society places a premium on achieving orgasm as the pinnacle of sexual satisfaction so it's easy to lose sight of the many other forms of pleasure that can be found along the way. While orgasms can certainly be a pleasurable and fulfilling part of sex for many people, they are by no means the sole measure of sexual satisfaction, especially when you factor in the issues surrounding orgasms.

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Marin County Psychologist Unpacks Defensiveness in Relationships

The inner critic is born from unprocessed childhood trauma. If you dig deeper, you’ll likely find the inner critic voice is eerily similar to a parent or guardian, either in words you heard or interpretations through actions they showed. We often internalize those voices and messages that whisper tales of inadequacy and unworthiness. There may have been neglect, rejection, or emotional abuse in childhood and so to deal with the pain, often an inner critic arises that repeats these negative messages in an effort to wound yourself before anyone else has the chance to wound you. On the other hand, the inner critic may say, “If only you did things the right way, everything would be fine.”

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Bay Area Sex Therapist Reveals the Benefits of Using a Vibrator

Vibrators can contribute to stress relief, relaxation, and enhanced blood flow, potentially leading to better sexual health. For some people, a vibrator can also help with pain relief, particularly for menstrual cramps or pelvic discomfort. And for people who want to use a vibrator for more than masturbation, it can promote intimacy and communication with a partner. As a Marin County sex therapist, I work with couples around communication and sometimes even how sexual expression could include toys.

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How Deepfakes Affect Relationships

Consent is the crucial element in this discussion. None of these women and girls (because deepfake pornography is also being created about young girls) said “yes” to having their faces splashed across the internet engaging in sexual acts. In an era where privacy is increasingly compromised, the ability to obtain someone's image or voice without their knowledge and then manipulate it for malicious purposes poses a serious threat. These women, because it’s almost exclusively women, are victimized by the unauthorized use of their likeness, leading to emotional distress and strain on their relationships.

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How EMDR Can Promote Sexual Healing

Sexuality and relationship issues often stem from past experiences that have left emotional scars or negative beliefs about one’s self and others. EMDR facilitates the reprocessing of these memories, helping individuals to integrate positive and adaptive information, and desensitize the emotional charge associated with past traumas. In the realm of sexuality, EMDR can assist individuals in overcoming inhibitions, shame, or negative self-perceptions that may hinder their healthy sexual expression.

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How Ethical Fetish and Kink Play can Heal Trauma

Trauma leaves a lasting impact on a person’s sense of self and affects their mental well-being and intimate connections. There are many ways the body can process trauma and one of them is ethical, consensual fetish and kink play. A fetish is a behavior that someone cannot get sexually aroused without whereas kink is an activity or behavior someone enjoys that goes outside the bounds of “traditional,” or “vanilla” sex. A person may get incredibly turned on by a kink, but not necessarily need it to get off. If they do, it becomes a fetish. Fetishes may be kinks, but not all kinks are fetishes.

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A Sex Therapist Reveals How Well Sex Education Portrays Sex Therapy

We all know TV and movies don’t always get it right in terms of their portrayals so how does Sex Education stack up in regards to sex therapy? Is it more fiction than fact? Surprisingly, no. Is it unrealistic that Otis would know so much about sex therapy without going through proper training and certification? Absolutely. As a Bay Area sex therapist and sexologist, I had a rigorous training process – more than 300 hours of additional training and an additional 50 extra hours of supervision on top of my licensure. The things I learned cannot be gleaned by osmosis so in that way, Sex Education is a complete work of fiction.

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What Is a Kink-Friendly Sex Therapist?

For individuals exploring kink, having a kink-friendly therapist can be crucial to feeling understood and supported in therapy. Many people with non-mainstream sexual interests worry about being judged, misunderstood, or even shamed. A kink-friendly sex therapist:

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Defying Ageism: Being Beautiful at Any Age

Under patriarchy, traditional men are given power and it’s taken away from women, nonbinary folx, and “girly” men. Also under patriarchy, the status quo is upheld such that traditional ways of thinking, acting, and being are prized while new ways are not. What this translates to is men who display what are perceived as “feminine” traits like sensitivity, vulnerability, and care are less valued under patriarchy and discriminated against.

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A Nonconsensual Third Wheel in Your Relationship: The Cell Phone

Constant phone use, including scrolling through social media, texting, or even playing mobile games, can lead to a lack of genuine emotional connection. Partners may struggle to engage in meaningful conversations and share their thoughts, dreams, and concerns when one or both individuals are constantly distracted by their devices. The emotional connection that once held the couple together may begin to erode and they may drift further apart.

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Navigating Intimacy and Connection: A Guide to Online Sex Therapy for Couples in Colorado

In Colorado, where vibrant city life meets the tranquility of nature, many couples may feel pressure to keep their relationships strong, especially amidst life’s daily demands. For couples in Denver, Boulder, Fort Collins, and beyond, online sex therapy offers an effective, boutique therapy option to address intimacy challenges, rebuild connection, and enhance relationship communication. With over 20 years of experience as a licensed sex therapist, trained in the prestigious human sexuality program at Widener University in Philadelphia, I provide tailored, highly specialized support to help couples achieve meaningful progress in their relationships.

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Exploring the Sensual Art of Body Worship in Human Sexualit

Body worship is a form of sexual play where one partner lavishes praise, attention, and sensual affection upon the other partner's body. It is a practice rooted in the idea that the human body is a work of art, worthy of admiration and celebration. This form of sexual expression transcends the boundaries of societal norms and allows individuals to explore their desires, connect on a deeper level, and foster a sense of intimacy that goes beyond the physical.

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An Orgasm is Perhaps Not What You Think It Is

Sexuality consists of five circles, which means it’s not limited to one body part in another body part. Sexuality is also flirting, touch, fantasy, sexual identity, and health, and, perhaps above all, a psychological state of being. So no, it’s not just about body parts. And even then, don’t discount the various ways sex can be performed be it oral, mutual masturbation, and digital, to name just a few ways of expression!

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Meaningful Relationships in Hook Up Culture

Finding a meaningful relationship in hookup culture can be challenging, but it's not impossible. By being clear about what you want, avoiding casual hookups, taking things slow, looking for like-minded individuals, being patient, open, and honest, and putting yourself out there, you can increase your chances of finding a meaningful relationship.

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