Posts in Sex Therapy
Bay Area Sex Therapist Reveals the Benefits of Using a Vibrator
Bay Area Sex Therapist Reveals the Benefits of Using a Vibrator

Vibrators can contribute to stress relief, relaxation, and enhanced blood flow, potentially leading to better sexual health. For some people, a vibrator can also help with pain relief, particularly for menstrual cramps or pelvic discomfort. And for people who want to use a vibrator for more than masturbation, it can promote intimacy and communication with a partner. As a Marin County sex therapist, I work with couples around communication and sometimes even how sexual expression could include toys.

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Sexuality, Sex Therapy, SexologyDenise Renyemarin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county, marin county CA, vibrators, sexolo, sexology, sexologist, bay area sexologist, marin county sex therapist
How Deepfakes Affect Relationships
How Deepfakes Affect Relationships

Consent is the crucial element in this discussion. None of these women and girls (because deepfake pornography is also being created about young girls) said “yes” to having their faces splashed across the internet engaging in sexual acts. In an era where privacy is increasingly compromised, the ability to obtain someone's image or voice without their knowledge and then manipulate it for malicious purposes poses a serious threat. These women, because it’s almost exclusively women, are victimized by the unauthorized use of their likeness, leading to emotional distress and strain on their relationships.

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For Clinicians, Sex Therapy, SexualityDenise Renyesex therapy, bay area sexologist, bay area psychologist, bay area therapist, san francisco bay area PTSD treatment of dissociation, san francisoc, san francisco, deepfake, sexual trauma, sexuality, PTSD and sexual assault, PTSD, betrayal, marin county sexologist
A Sex Therapist Reveals How Well Sex Education Portrays Sex Therapy
A Sex Therapist Reveals How Well Sex Education Portrays Sex Therapy

We all know TV and movies don’t always get it right in terms of their portrayals so how does Sex Education stack up in regards to sex therapy? Is it more fiction than fact? Surprisingly, no. Is it unrealistic that Otis would know so much about sex therapy without going through proper training and certification? Absolutely. As a Bay Area sex therapist and sexologist, I had a rigorous training process – more than 300 hours of additional training and an additional 50 extra hours of supervision on top of my licensure. The things I learned cannot be gleaned by osmosis so in that way, Sex Education is a complete work of fiction.

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For Clinicians, Sex Therapy, SexualityDenise Renyesex therapy, sex, sexology, couples therapy, couples, marin county sex therapist
Create Peace in Your Relationships with Nonviolent Communication
Create Peace in Your Relationships with Nonviolent Communication

NVC is a method of speaking and listening developed by psychologist Dr. Marshall Rosenberg based on the premise that connection more easily leads to solutions. Oftentimes when people communicate with one another it’s in a binary way: “I’m right, you’re wrong,” or “I’m good and you’re bad.” These ways of thinking often lead to anger and anger can lead to violence if it’s not expressed healthily.

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Couples Therapy, Sex Therapy, Trauma HealingDenise Renyecouples, non violent communication, marin county sex therapist
Exploring the Sensual Art of Body Worship in Human Sexuality
Exploring the Sensual Art of Body Worship in Human Sexuality

Body worship is a form of sexual play where one partner lavishes praise, attention, and sensual affection upon the other partner's body. It is a practice rooted in the idea that the human body is a work of art, worthy of admiration and celebration. This form of sexual expression transcends the boundaries of societal norms and allows individuals to explore their desires, connect on a deeper level, and foster a sense of intimacy that goes beyond the physical.

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Couples Therapy, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, Somatic Psychology, Trauma Healing, SexologyDenise Renyebody worship, sensuality, sensual, consent, consensual sex, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county CA, marin county, marin county sex therapist, EMDR therapist Marin county
An Orgasm is Perhaps Not What You Think It Is
An Orgasm is Perhaps Not What You Think It Is

Sexuality consists of five circles, which means it’s not limited to one body part in another body part. Sexuality is also flirting, touch, fantasy, sexual identity, and health, and, perhaps above all, a psychological state of being. So no, it’s not just about body parts. And even then, don’t discount the various ways sex can be performed be it oral, mutual masturbation, and digital, to name just a few ways of expression!

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Body Movement, Sexuality, Sex Therapy, Somatic PsychologyDenise Renyesexuality and disability, disability, disabled bodies, Sex, sex therapy, sexual healing, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county CA, marin county sex therapist, EMDR therapist Marin county
To Open Your Marriage...or Not
To Open Your Marriage...or Not

Ultimately, the decision to open up a marriage should be based on mutual respect, honesty, and a commitment to each other's well-being. If you and your partner are able to approach the idea of non-monogamy with an open and honest mindset, and if you are both genuinely interested in exploring this type of relationship, it can be a positive and fulfilling experience. However, if either of you are approaching the idea of an open marriage from a place of fear, avoidance, or dishonesty, it may be wise to seek the help of a qualified therapist or counselor to work through these issues before taking any further steps.

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Sex TherapyDenise Renyerelationships, marriage, sexless marriage, open relationship, open marriage, nonmonogamy, non-monogamy, ethical non-monogamy, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county CA, marin county, marin county sex therapist
Meaningful Relationships in Hook Up Culture
Meaningful Relationships in Hook Up Culture

Finding a meaningful relationship in hookup culture can be challenging, but it's not impossible. By being clear about what you want, avoiding casual hookups, taking things slow, looking for like-minded individuals, being patient, open, and honest, and putting yourself out there, you can increase your chances of finding a meaningful relationship.

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Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyerelationship creativity, relationship, couples therapy, relationship therapy, love, self love, couples, marin county sex therapist, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist
Want more Sexual Pleasure?
Want more Sexual Pleasure?

Emotional safety plays a crucial role in sexual pleasure. When we feel emotionally safe with our partner, we are more likely to be open, vulnerable, and willing to explore our desires and fantasies. When we trust our partner, we can let go of any inhibitions and fully immerse ourselves in the moment, leading to a more intense and fulfilling sexual experience.

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyepleasure, sexual healing, sexual pleasure, emotional safety, relationship creativity, relationship, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county CA, marin county
Sexual Anxiety? Try Meditation
Sexual Anxiety? Try Meditation

Sexual anxiety is a common issue that affects many people, and it can be caused by a variety of factors, including performance anxiety, past trauma, or negative self-talk. Anxiety can significantly impact one's sexual experience, leading to difficulties achieving or maintaining an erection, premature ejaculation, or difficulty reaching orgasm. However, meditation is a powerful tool that can help decrease anxiety during sex and improve overall sexual well-being.

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Body Movement, Ritual and Ceremony, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, Somatic Psychology, Yoga Therapy, SexologyDenise Renyesexual anxiety, sexual healing, sexua trauma, sexual pleasure, sexual assault survivor, sexual therapy, meditation, mind-body connection, mindfulness
The Orgasm Gap
The Orgasm Gap

The orgasm gap is what it sounds like – when engaging in sexual activities that result in an orgasm, one individual or group consistently achieves an orgasm more than another. One study found the breakdown is like so:

 

·      95% of heterosexual men experience orgasm during intercourse

·      89% of gay men

·      88% of bisexual men

·      86% of lesbians

·      66% of bisexual women

·      65% of straight women

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Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyeorgasm, vulva, vagina, wage gap, misogyny, marin county sex therapist, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist
Trauma Response or Procrastination? How to Tell the Difference
Trauma Response or Procrastination? How to Tell the Difference

Many people deal with wanting to put off tasks that are hard, physically and emotionally. Perhaps you are at a job that you don’t really enjoy but stay because it’s financially advantageous. If you find yourself putting tasks off until tomorrow (or the next day…or the next day) and you have had traumatic events or relationships in your life, it may be hard to discern if the avoidance of a task is procrastination or a trauma response. Both trauma response of freeze and procrastination can involve avoidance behavior, but they have different underlying causes and motivations.

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Sex Therapy, Trauma HealingDenise Renyetrauma, trauma healing, trauma response, sexual trauma, family trauma, procrastination, PTSD, PTSD and sexual assault
How to Work with Limerence and Not Against It
How to Work with Limerence and Not Against It

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov first described the term in 1979 in her book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Limerence is less grounded than love because it involves a heck of a lot of projection and fantasy. Instead of seeing the other person for who they are, flaws and all, someone in the throes of limerence will ignore red flags because “love conquers all.” They may imagine activities and outings with the other person, how they’ll dress, what they’ll say because at this point, the other person is still a mystery.  

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyehealthy relationships, mens health, mentalhealth, love, love addiction, relationship creativity, romantic relationship, toxic relationship, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county CA, marin county, marin county sex therapist, EMDR therapist Marin county
Space is Sexy in Relationship
Space is Sexy in Relationship

Sleeping separately helps everyone get a better night’s sleep because they don’t have to contend with snoring, blanket-hogging, or different sleep schedules.

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyecouples, couples therapy, intimacy, relationship, romantic partnerships, romantic relationship, romantic partner, romance, romantic, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county, marin county CA, marin county sex therapist
Sex Remains Important in Long-Term Relationships
Sex Remains Important in Long-Term Relationships

Sex…it’s something that is typically part of a romantic partnership or marriage and it’s wise to have a conversation about it from the beginning of a connection. People may be asexual, pansexual, have a high interest in sex, have kinky desires, prefer a vanilla scene, or anything in between. But there is a prevalent and under-talked about sexual concern in some relationships.

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyesex, long term relationships, marriage, sexless marriage, communication, marin county sex therapist, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist
Why It’s Important to Use the Term ‘Sex Worker’
Why It’s Important to Use the Term ‘Sex Worker’

When people use terms other than sex worker, they diminish that sex work is actually work. Either that or they try to keep sex work in the shadows, pretend it doesn’t exist, or somehow turn it into something it’s not. Leigh understood that and she became one of the leading advocates for sex workers in the Bay Area campaigning both as herself and her stage persona the Scarlot Harlot. For instance, she helped dancers at a San Francisco club, Lusty Lady, bargain for their first labor contract in 1997.

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Sex TherapyDenise Renyesex workers, sex, sextherapy, sex worker, mindfulness, mindfulsex, marin county sexologist, marin county, marin county psychologist, marin county CA
Asexuality is Aces
Asexuality is Aces

In the hypersexualized culture of the U.S., asexuality is not discussed much but it still exists. Around 1% of the population, perhaps more, are asexual (or “aces”) according to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. Asexuality is not celibacy. Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sexual activity whereas asexuality is a sexual orientation intrinsic to the person, similar to other sexual orientations. Asexuality is also not abstinence, a phase, an inability to find a partner, or evidence of sexual dysfunction. It’s an inherent way of being.

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyesexuality, Sex, asexuality, romantic partnerships, marriage, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county, marin county CA, marin county sex therapist, EMDR therapist Marin county
How do Sexual Freedom and the Inner Child Relate to Each Other?
How do Sexual Freedom and the Inner Child Relate to Each Other?

By looking within and doing inner child exploration, you may become curious about sexuality, sexual needs, and what is pleasurable for you, which are all important and essential to a healthy and thriving sexual self. Why does this happen? As I mentioned in my previous post, creativity and sexuality are two sides of the same coin.

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyeinner healing, inner child work, inner child play, inner work, inner child, inner teen, stages of inner child work, sextherapy, sexuality, embrace sexuality, marin county sexologist, marin county, marin county psychologist, marin county CA