Posts in Sexuality
How Deepfakes Affect Relationships
How Deepfakes Affect Relationships

Consent is the crucial element in this discussion. None of these women and girls (because deepfake pornography is also being created about young girls) said “yes” to having their faces splashed across the internet engaging in sexual acts. In an era where privacy is increasingly compromised, the ability to obtain someone's image or voice without their knowledge and then manipulate it for malicious purposes poses a serious threat. These women, because it’s almost exclusively women, are victimized by the unauthorized use of their likeness, leading to emotional distress and strain on their relationships.

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For Clinicians, Sex Therapy, SexualityDenise Renyesex therapy, bay area sexologist, bay area psychologist, bay area therapist, san francisco bay area PTSD treatment of dissociation, san francisoc, san francisco, deepfake, sexual trauma, sexuality, PTSD and sexual assault, PTSD, betrayal, marin county sexologist
How EMDR Can Promote Sexual Healing
How EMDR Can Promote Sexual Healing

Sexuality and relationship issues often stem from past experiences that have left emotional scars or negative beliefs about one’s self and others. EMDR facilitates the reprocessing of these memories, helping individuals to integrate positive and adaptive information, and desensitize the emotional charge associated with past traumas. In the realm of sexuality, EMDR can assist individuals in overcoming inhibitions, shame, or negative self-perceptions that may hinder their healthy sexual expression.

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EMDR, Trauma Healing, SexualityDenise RenyeEMDR, PTSD, sexuality, sexual healing, relationship therapy, couples therapy, couples, trauma healing, trauma, EMDR therapist Marin county, EMDR therapist
How Ethical Fetish and Kink Play can Heal Trauma
How Ethical Fetish and Kink Play can Heal Trauma

Trauma leaves a lasting impact on a person’s sense of self and affects their mental well-being and intimate connections. There are many ways the body can process trauma and one of them is ethical, consensual fetish and kink play. A fetish is a behavior that someone cannot get sexually aroused without whereas kink is an activity or behavior someone enjoys that goes outside the bounds of “traditional,” or “vanilla” sex. A person may get incredibly turned on by a kink, but not necessarily need it to get off. If they do, it becomes a fetish. Fetishes may be kinks, but not all kinks are fetishes.

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Couples Therapy, LGBTQIA+, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyeptsd, trauma, fetish, kink, sex therapy, bdsm, sexology
A Sex Therapist Reveals How Well Sex Education Portrays Sex Therapy
A Sex Therapist Reveals How Well Sex Education Portrays Sex Therapy

We all know TV and movies don’t always get it right in terms of their portrayals so how does Sex Education stack up in regards to sex therapy? Is it more fiction than fact? Surprisingly, no. Is it unrealistic that Otis would know so much about sex therapy without going through proper training and certification? Absolutely. As a Bay Area sex therapist and sexologist, I had a rigorous training process – more than 300 hours of additional training and an additional 50 extra hours of supervision on top of my licensure. The things I learned cannot be gleaned by osmosis so in that way, Sex Education is a complete work of fiction.

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For Clinicians, Sex Therapy, SexualityDenise Renyesex therapy, sex, sexology, couples therapy, couples, marin county sex therapist
Defying Ageism: Being Beautiful at Any Age
Defying Ageism: Being Beautiful at Any Age

Under patriarchy, traditional men are given power and it’s taken away from women, nonbinary folx, and “girly” men. Also under patriarchy, the status quo is upheld such that traditional ways of thinking, acting, and being are prized while new ways are not. What this translates to is men who display what are perceived as “feminine” traits like sensitivity, vulnerability, and care are less valued under patriarchy and discriminated against.

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Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyecronehood, crone, women's sexuality, women and psychology, badass women, ageism, anxiety, divine feminine, divine uprising, marin county sex therapist
Exploring the Sensual Art of Body Worship in Human Sexuality
Exploring the Sensual Art of Body Worship in Human Sexuality

Body worship is a form of sexual play where one partner lavishes praise, attention, and sensual affection upon the other partner's body. It is a practice rooted in the idea that the human body is a work of art, worthy of admiration and celebration. This form of sexual expression transcends the boundaries of societal norms and allows individuals to explore their desires, connect on a deeper level, and foster a sense of intimacy that goes beyond the physical.

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Couples Therapy, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, Somatic Psychology, Trauma Healing, SexologyDenise Renyebody worship, sensuality, sensual, consent, consensual sex, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county CA, marin county, marin county sex therapist, EMDR therapist Marin county
An Orgasm is Perhaps Not What You Think It Is
An Orgasm is Perhaps Not What You Think It Is

Sexuality consists of five circles, which means it’s not limited to one body part in another body part. Sexuality is also flirting, touch, fantasy, sexual identity, and health, and, perhaps above all, a psychological state of being. So no, it’s not just about body parts. And even then, don’t discount the various ways sex can be performed be it oral, mutual masturbation, and digital, to name just a few ways of expression!

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Body Movement, Sexuality, Sex Therapy, Somatic PsychologyDenise Renyesexuality and disability, disability, disabled bodies, Sex, sex therapy, sexual healing, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county CA, marin county sex therapist, EMDR therapist Marin county
Meaningful Relationships in Hook Up Culture
Meaningful Relationships in Hook Up Culture

Finding a meaningful relationship in hookup culture can be challenging, but it's not impossible. By being clear about what you want, avoiding casual hookups, taking things slow, looking for like-minded individuals, being patient, open, and honest, and putting yourself out there, you can increase your chances of finding a meaningful relationship.

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Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyerelationship creativity, relationship, couples therapy, relationship therapy, love, self love, couples, marin county sex therapist, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist
Want more Sexual Pleasure?
Want more Sexual Pleasure?

Emotional safety plays a crucial role in sexual pleasure. When we feel emotionally safe with our partner, we are more likely to be open, vulnerable, and willing to explore our desires and fantasies. When we trust our partner, we can let go of any inhibitions and fully immerse ourselves in the moment, leading to a more intense and fulfilling sexual experience.

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyepleasure, sexual healing, sexual pleasure, emotional safety, relationship creativity, relationship, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county CA, marin county
Sexual Anxiety? Try Meditation
Sexual Anxiety? Try Meditation

Sexual anxiety is a common issue that affects many people, and it can be caused by a variety of factors, including performance anxiety, past trauma, or negative self-talk. Anxiety can significantly impact one's sexual experience, leading to difficulties achieving or maintaining an erection, premature ejaculation, or difficulty reaching orgasm. However, meditation is a powerful tool that can help decrease anxiety during sex and improve overall sexual well-being.

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Body Movement, Ritual and Ceremony, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, Somatic Psychology, Yoga Therapy, SexologyDenise Renyesexual anxiety, sexual healing, sexua trauma, sexual pleasure, sexual assault survivor, sexual therapy, meditation, mind-body connection, mindfulness
The Clitoris: Much More Than the Tip of the Iceberg
The Clitoris: Much More Than the Tip of the Iceberg

This lack of focus and knowledge can create a lot of issues for those with clitorises.  Psychologically, there is a message put forth that there’s less importance on these bodies, that women overall are less important, and that can affect self-esteem, confidence, and a general sense of embodiment. This is changing but/and the change is so very slow. It’s important to talk about the issues for people with clitorises, understand it, and have deeper knowledge of the vulva, vagina, and clitoris. Normalizing pleasure is key to a sense of embodiment.

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Sexuality, SexologyDenise RenyeSex, sextherapy, sex therapy, sexual therapy, sexua trauma, clitoris, sexual healing, sexual pleasure, women's sexuality, freud, marin county sex therapist, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist
Female Orgasms and Unrealistic Expectations
Female Orgasms and Unrealistic Expectations

For folx who have sex with people with clitorises, it’s important that they realize vaginal penetration alone may not cut it, and as with all satisfying sex, communication is key. At Whole Person Integration, we say bring consciousness back to the bedroom. Communicate wants and desires. But also explore…and explore widely, vastly, and wildly…if you so desire. You may have “tried and true” methods of coming but part of the fun with sex is learning new forms of pleasure. What else can you try? The answer may surprise you.

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Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyeorgasm, female orgasm, sexual pleasure, sex, sexuality, sexual healing, sexual, sextherapy, sex therapy, clitoris, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county, marin county CA, marin county sex therapist
The Orgasm Gap
The Orgasm Gap

The orgasm gap is what it sounds like – when engaging in sexual activities that result in an orgasm, one individual or group consistently achieves an orgasm more than another. One study found the breakdown is like so:

 

·      95% of heterosexual men experience orgasm during intercourse

·      89% of gay men

·      88% of bisexual men

·      86% of lesbians

·      66% of bisexual women

·      65% of straight women

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Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyeorgasm, vulva, vagina, wage gap, misogyny, marin county sex therapist, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist
How to Work with Limerence and Not Against It
How to Work with Limerence and Not Against It

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov first described the term in 1979 in her book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Limerence is less grounded than love because it involves a heck of a lot of projection and fantasy. Instead of seeing the other person for who they are, flaws and all, someone in the throes of limerence will ignore red flags because “love conquers all.” They may imagine activities and outings with the other person, how they’ll dress, what they’ll say because at this point, the other person is still a mystery.  

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyehealthy relationships, mens health, mentalhealth, love, love addiction, relationship creativity, romantic relationship, toxic relationship, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county CA, marin county, marin county sex therapist, EMDR therapist Marin county
Space is Sexy in Relationship
Space is Sexy in Relationship

Sleeping separately helps everyone get a better night’s sleep because they don’t have to contend with snoring, blanket-hogging, or different sleep schedules.

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyecouples, couples therapy, intimacy, relationship, romantic partnerships, romantic relationship, romantic partner, romance, romantic, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county, marin county CA, marin county sex therapist
Sex Remains Important in Long-Term Relationships
Sex Remains Important in Long-Term Relationships

Sex…it’s something that is typically part of a romantic partnership or marriage and it’s wise to have a conversation about it from the beginning of a connection. People may be asexual, pansexual, have a high interest in sex, have kinky desires, prefer a vanilla scene, or anything in between. But there is a prevalent and under-talked about sexual concern in some relationships.

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyesex, long term relationships, marriage, sexless marriage, communication, marin county sex therapist, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist
Cross-Dressing: It’s Just Dressing
Cross-Dressing: It’s Just Dressing

Not that long ago, cross-dressing was the brunt of many jokes. It was considered the height of hilarity to put a man in a dress and heels or a woman in a too-large man’s suit. Some younger people who may be reading this might have a hard time fathoming such a reality, depending on your social circle and location.

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Gender Openness, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyelgbtquia+, cross dressing, gender bening, gender bending, gender fluidity, marin county sexologist, marin county, marin county psychologist, marin county CA
Asexuality is Aces
Asexuality is Aces

In the hypersexualized culture of the U.S., asexuality is not discussed much but it still exists. Around 1% of the population, perhaps more, are asexual (or “aces”) according to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. Asexuality is not celibacy. Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sexual activity whereas asexuality is a sexual orientation intrinsic to the person, similar to other sexual orientations. Asexuality is also not abstinence, a phase, an inability to find a partner, or evidence of sexual dysfunction. It’s an inherent way of being.

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyesexuality, Sex, asexuality, romantic partnerships, marriage, marin county sexologist, marin county psychologist, marin county, marin county CA, marin county sex therapist, EMDR therapist Marin county
How do Sexual Freedom and the Inner Child Relate to Each Other?
How do Sexual Freedom and the Inner Child Relate to Each Other?

By looking within and doing inner child exploration, you may become curious about sexuality, sexual needs, and what is pleasurable for you, which are all important and essential to a healthy and thriving sexual self. Why does this happen? As I mentioned in my previous post, creativity and sexuality are two sides of the same coin.

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Gender Openness, Sex Therapy, Sexuality, SexologyDenise Renyeinner healing, inner child work, inner child play, inner work, inner child, inner teen, stages of inner child work, sextherapy, sexuality, embrace sexuality, marin county sexologist, marin county, marin county psychologist, marin county CA
How Inner Child Exploration Leads to More Creativity
How Inner Child Exploration Leads to More Creativity

Your creative, and thus sexual, energy is life-sustaining. It’s an expression that is unleashed and followed. Your creative expression is an energy that can be surrendered to and followed. It is the flow of life. The flow of life can be blocked for numerous reasons – primarily trauma, but also social conditioning. Inner child play can unblock that flow and transform your whole person.

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SexualityDenise Renyeinner child, inner child work, inner child play, creativity, sexuality, sexologist, sexology